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Small-town Postal Clerk Considers Inspiration (Free verse) by zodiac
Uncomfortable with handshakes, milk left on counters, livestock, Lou's taken lately with small magics: walking a frosty commons before dawn, fitting a key in a lock, inspiration. Not the illumined instant, though, the forked lightburst or Godfinger he figures (rightly) either happens or not and by its own design enough to not be worth worry; but transmission, connection, each mind on its own patio reading when the wind suddenly brings - something. A paper napkin printed perfectly with lipstick, a snatch of game from the neighbor's radio. Contact. The wires close enough, the spark leaps, finds, somehow, footing on the air. (Or he imagines it must, and is tempted sorting mass-mailings to spring up, kick, and see if it is there.) Do you pop, sharing a notion, he wonders, like electricity? Or like breathing into a kiss? Or simply like handing a parcel over a counter with dusk coming and streetlights coming on and Mrs Pince nodding at someone. Maybe, he thinks, it's pouring and pouring yourself into the cold crystal space above town, where frost, already forming, tiptoes, awaits its entrances. He thinks: Okay, grunts, now here's the plan; and, Die Geschichte aller bisherigen Gesellschaft; and, Lads, I call this one 'Revolution'; and, This wild feeling you have is Excelsior.

Down the ladder: In the hollow (rough)

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Arithmetic Mean: 8.714286
Weighted score: 5.998925
Overall Rank: 1306
Posted: September 5, 2005 6:57 AM PDT; Last modified: September 6, 2005 4:27 AM PDT
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Comments:
[8] Bethy @ 24.222.32.197 | 5-Sep-05/2:42 PM | Reply
each mind on its own patio...good line...:) Bethy
[9] INTRANSIT @ 205.188.116.69 | 6-Sep-05/5:48 AM | Reply
HELP! Excelsior is wood shavings?! Can't be. Makes no sense. Dic.com left me cold. ??????? It is better as one whole piece.
[n/a] ALChemy @ 65.188.89.69 > INTRANSIT | 16-Sep-05/9:36 AM | Reply
Try Longfellow.
[7] Dovina @ 12.74.103.59 | 6-Sep-05/6:22 AM | Reply
Some good lines, but as a story, it lacks continuity. The German thing comes too late.
[6] Tintagiles @ 142.166.234.130 | 7-Sep-05/7:40 PM | Reply
I'd prefer it as a prose poem. But that's just me.
[10] cyan9 @ 217.40.63.105 | 22-Dec-05/4:20 AM | Reply
My favourite out of yours so far
[n/a] ALChemy @ 24.74.101.159 | 24-Jan-06/3:15 PM | Reply
One thing I find impressive about you is that you speak a handful of languages, have an extensive vocabulary and have credentials to back it up and yet you rarely ever speak over peoples head.
You are born to teach.
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