Re: a comment on Final Dates, part 1: through gates of smoke and salt by Bill Z Bub	Bill Z Bub 99.239.12.102	5-Mar-09/11:05 PM
see I told ya. I really wanted to get rid of the entire last stanza (not counting the final two lines), because it sounds a little out there... also I just realized I may have used language that seems to imply there was some kind of actual drinking of blood going on... I'd like to state for the record that there was no drinking of or intentional drawing of blood for the purpose of imbibing said substance in this poem. I think. So any vampirism implied is purely metaphorical.
Re: The time doesn’t matter by Prince of Void	nentwined 75.83.196.201	5-Mar-09/10:58 PM
I like the setting, but not the poem, and not where it ends. Still, I think you've got a seed here, if you can nurture it to grow (and I don't mean in length, so much).
Re: Behind Closed Doors by Spirit52	nentwined 75.83.196.201	5-Mar-09/10:55 PM
needs something more, I think.
Re: Final Dates, part 1: through gates of smoke and salt by Bill Z Bub	nentwined 75.83.196.201	5-Mar-09/10:51 PM
god damn dude. yeah, that's personal. and eloquent. and evocative--I can feel it. The odd thing is I feel like it hits too close to home to crit, but if I step back a bit, it's not my home. So: if I were reading this @ GUD, I'd be thinking, wondering... this is really beautiful. But is there enough of a story, enough of an arc, enough "other" on top of the punch to the gut and its beauty? And I don't know, there. I'd let it sit and hope to get some response from others. And I think the response would tend to depend on who read it next.
Re: a comment on prove me wrong by nentwined	nentwined 75.83.196.201	5-Mar-09/10:43 PM
It would be an eternal struggle if I tried more often. ;) Stress...regimen...eating... it's all a muddle. Gyms are overrated unless they fit into your particular psyche. I'm all about the simple things I can do at home, in-between breaths (and it _really_ helps to have friends... if not doing the same thing, then something similar). Right now I'm sharing a regimen-of-sorts with my wife and her sister, though we're all attacking it kind of half-assed and "when we can". Poem--I'll check it!
Re: a comment on 2am and sober in the digital age by nentwined	nentwined 75.83.196.201	5-Mar-09/10:41 PM
:heh: Maybe some--but erif.org is mine, and on a friend's server. I doubt anyone will renew the domain when I'm gone. And his server... man. It's strange to consider these things that would live on if those after us feed them (as opposed to, say "books", or "monuments" of old...)
Re: mission statement by malpaso	nentwined 75.83.196.201	5-Mar-09/10:39 PM
two l's in ellipses. the rest... eh. points for intent?
Re: a comment on To those that would teach poetry by INTRANSIT	nentwined 75.83.196.201	5-Mar-09/10:37 PM
kind of funny, kind of sad, I don't remember reading it before. But perhaps it's changed enough. :) I choose that.
Re: To those that would teach poetry by INTRANSIT	nentwined 75.83.196.201	5-Mar-09/10:35 PM
relieving? interesting piece.
Re: a comment on To Poets Whose Writing is Fecal. by SupremeDreamer	nentwined 75.83.196.201	5-Mar-09/10:34 PM
favorited, even. :)
Re: a comment on prove me wrong by nentwined	Bill Z Bub 99.239.12.102	5-Mar-09/10:34 PM
ah the eternal struggle for being "in shape"... I've been losing weight lately, mainly due to a medically necessitated complete overhaul of my dietary regimen. And stress has started making me eat less, instead of what it used to do, make me eat more. I should probably start going to this thing they call "gym". Oh I posted the prose pome. Let me know what you think, I may not leave it up for long... we'll see.
Re: To Poets Whose Writing is Fecal. by SupremeDreamer	nentwined 75.83.196.201	5-Mar-09/10:33 PM
Hear, hear!
Re: Snorting the Cosmic Dust. by DreamerSupreme	nentwined 75.83.196.201	5-Mar-09/10:33 PM
my eyes blurred. you hit a constant tone that turned the words to mush (maybe I need more coffee).
Re: Back to reality by Prince of Void	nentwined 75.83.196.201	5-Mar-09/10:31 PM
the edge of the ocean is just another's hell. or heaven we'd all get kicked out of. but it's nice to imagine?
Re: the invisible beauty by Prince of Void	nentwined 75.83.196.201	5-Mar-09/10:30 PM
meh.
Re: diamond embedded once before & always by A. Nomaly	nentwined 75.83.196.201	5-Mar-09/10:27 PM
strange... good flow, but the context isn't quite there for me.
Re: a comment on 2am and sober in the digital age by nentwined	Bill Z Bub 99.239.12.102	5-Mar-09/10:26 PM
ask and it shall be given unto you.
Re: Unwind Again by dclark	nentwined 75.83.196.201	5-Mar-09/10:26 PM
what? really? no.
Re: Taste Ghazni by eliastemplar	nentwined 75.83.196.201	5-Mar-09/10:26 PM
insence -> incense or rather, incense-like hmm. better than I expected, from that; but still kind of plain. paint me more.
Re: 2am and sober in the digital age by nentwined	Bill Z Bub 99.239.12.102	5-Mar-09/10:25 PM
I have a feeling our email addy's will outlive us for longer that a moment. They may outlive the heat death of the universe.