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prove me wrong (Free verse) by nentwined As you grow up, you will lose:
your innocence to the world--
your dreams, one by one;
your certainty.
As you grow old, you will lose:
your poise and your strength--
the last of your dreams,
your dignity.
The things that you'll keep
'til death do you part:
your fears and your habits,
and perfidy.
Up the ladder:
Hopeless shelter
Down the ladder:
Maiden, Maiden
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 5.0
Posted: March 5, 2009 9:35 PM PST; Last modified: March 5, 2009 9:35 PM PSTWeighted score: 5.0 Overall Rank: 7909 Comments:
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nentwined @ 75.83.196.201
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5-Mar-09/9:36 PM
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Reply
almost titled it "a moment's whine", but that seemed too easy. Almost binned it, but that's what the ranker's for, right? ;)
I sometimes fear this is too true, my friend.
The thought came to me (well, "habits") while waiting for dinner to cook in the microwave. ;)
Trying to get into shape... latest attempt is lots of jump-roping. Amy mentioned that she used to enjoy it--as a kid; it's a thing kids enjoy, as a game, for fun... I started thinking about how much easier it is for kids to exercise (the whole cubed/squared thing, I think, of what muscles can support), and then started thinking on ... well, they're not doing it for the muscles, they're doing it to learn to do it (and teach their body to learn to do it, some, as well). ((well, they're doing it for fun, but that's not why it's "good")) "fears" and "perfidy" largely came from trying to somewhat match the form that assembled itself into the first two stanzas--but they seem reasonable, overall. :)
ah the eternal struggle for being "in shape"... I've been losing weight lately, mainly due to a medically necessitated complete overhaul of my dietary regimen. And stress has started making me eat less, instead of what it used to do, make me eat more.
I should probably start going to this thing they call "gym". Oh I posted the prose pome. Let me know what you think, I may not leave it up for long... we'll see.
It would be an eternal struggle if I tried more often. ;) Stress...regimen...eating... it's all a muddle. Gyms are overrated unless they fit into your particular psyche. I'm all about the simple things I can do at home, in-between breaths (and it _really_ helps to have friends... if not doing the same thing, then something similar). Right now I'm sharing a regimen-of-sorts with my wife and her sister, though we're all attacking it kind of half-assed and "when we can".
Poem--I'll check it!
I liked the title, "Prove Me Wrong" lol
I'd love to prove you wrong. One of these days. I'll come back and be all like... well, we'll see. ;) Actually: I've never had certainty much. And innocence to the world went gone after a few months ago. hm... I like how it's a list. And every last line goes together. :)
Thanks :D
One of these days, we will see, we will see. It's amazing this place has been here this long. You probably have more certainty than you realize (he says, older and wiser *cough* sure....) Innocence to the world gone a few months ago? Now that sounds like a tale. Or a poem. ;) Hopefully not a pimple :)
haha A tale, it does feel like. Not sure I could convey what I'd want to say in a poem. I'm afraid my poetic side has suffered since... my last few poems I've written. lol I really should work on that, shouldn't I?
You should work on everything, of course. All at once! ;)
I think the title should be "Pessimism & Projections.".
The poem is direct, simple-- lacking perhaps a little creative flare it still possesses the savage spark none-the-less. Eight. 311 view(s)
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