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To those that would teach poetry (Free verse) by INTRANSIT I'm sorry teacher,
To push me through a poem,
To force me to write
Is to hold a pistol,
Its cold, relieving,
barrelled end
against my temple
That I would forge you a sword
to be used against me later,
And I say this:
Hold your flint-lock firmly
and let fly.
Up the ladder:
Desire
Down the ladder:
(pieces, peaces)
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 6.4
Posted: January 23, 2004 1:19 PM PST; Last modified: March 10, 2005 12:13 PM PSTWeighted score: 5.166884 Overall Rank: 5010 The following users have marked this poem on their favorites list:
Comments:
nice "FU"
one note, "Its" instead of "It's"
Interesting, I don't read this as a FU at all, but rather expressing eagerness to learn and be pushed to learn even though it can be torturous. INTRANSIT?
I concur. Well put, Goed.
Goad
It's->Its (confused me first read)
Interesting, though. Not gelling for me.
Why didn't you cahnge "it's" to "its" on this edit? It's been pointed out before. "forge you a sword" - don't get the connection. Otherwise good.
Slipped right past me , that one. The forge thing is suggestive of " see I told you you could do it." The fact that I used -sword- seems cliche to me . Dunno.
That I would make for you something, you will use to judge me later(Still refering to the poem writing). The gun itself is used as a Judgement(I.E. Grades).
Unless I misunderstand entirely. <3 Jason
this is very good because it says what the person is thinking.
Its good because of more than just that. Look carefully, its actually quite a bold and beautiful statement.
I'm having a bit of trouble with the metaphor here. The teacher is metaphorically holding a pistol to your head by forcing you to write. 'And then I would forge you a sword to be used against me later.' It is unclear why the effect of holding a pistol to your head would 'forge a sword' or how that sword could be used against you. The end is fine, although I missed that you wanted pushing to write first time (it seemed unexpected).
See the answer to Dovina above and the comment by Goad. Though I do see the opener as kind of a hiccup.
"To those that would teach poetry" should be "To those who would teach poetry". But I guess that's the whole point.
Bingo. Someday I'll get the whole anthropomorphism thing. Thanks.
relieving?
interesting piece.
kind of funny, kind of sad, I don't remember reading it before. But perhaps it's changed enough. :) I choose that.
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A real archers bowfinger to conformity.