Re: The PROJECT by Sigh'ense...	nentwined 75.83.196.201	5-Mar-09/10:24 PM
no.
Re: The death of Carlos Huarrez by Caducus	nentwined 75.83.196.201	5-Mar-09/10:23 PM
huh. good stuff here. not quite picturing it all, (and what are "blue screams"?). But yeah, some good stuff here.
Re: The flute sound makes me blue by Prince of Void	nentwined 75.83.196.201	5-Mar-09/10:21 PM
hmm, no.
Re: Echoes of Eichmann by Caducus	nentwined 75.83.196.201	5-Mar-09/10:21 PM
has something, I like the weaving of images, and I think appropriate gravitas for the content. Just doesn't scan the way I want, and perhaps ... rough/disjoint in more than flow?
Re: Pill-Popper's Confessional by Sasha	nentwined 75.83.196.201	5-Mar-09/10:18 PM
ROFL Yes. I think it needs a little smoothing, but yes, this is perfect ranker material.
Re: Fake, Emo and Over Shaven by Blindpoetry	nentwined 75.83.196.201	5-Mar-09/10:16 PM
"soothe" your emotions, unless you truly mean sooth--which would mean to imply you're prognosticating, some. tracking biorhythms? You've lost me with "diplome" though. Doesn't quite hang together. But I appreciate what you're doing. Shouldn't it be a pimple, though?
Re: for the slaves and the seekers by Bill Z Bub	nentwined 75.83.196.201	5-Mar-09/10:15 PM
hmm. hmm hmm hmm. hmm. and no, that's not supposed to mean any more than it says ;)
Re: a comment on prove me wrong by nentwined	nentwined 75.83.196.201	5-Mar-09/10:12 PM
The thought came to me (well, "habits") while waiting for dinner to cook in the microwave. ;) Trying to get into shape... latest attempt is lots of jump-roping. Amy mentioned that she used to enjoy it--as a kid; it's a thing kids enjoy, as a game, for fun... I started thinking about how much easier it is for kids to exercise (the whole cubed/squared thing, I think, of what muscles can support), and then started thinking on ... well, they're not doing it for the muscles, they're doing it to learn to do it (and teach their body to learn to do it, some, as well). ((well, they're doing it for fun, but that's not why it's "good")) "fears" and "perfidy" largely came from trying to somewhat match the form that assembled itself into the first two stanzas--but they seem reasonable, overall. :)
Re: a comment on 9 Things to Eat for Breakfast & Why by A. Nomaly	nentwined 75.83.196.201	5-Mar-09/10:08 PM
Personal, shmersonal--come on, we'll rip it a new one ;) But I like what you're doing. :)
Re: prove me wrong by nentwined	Bill Z Bub 99.239.12.102	5-Mar-09/10:01 PM
I sometimes fear this is too true, my friend.
Re: a comment on 9 Things to Eat for Breakfast & Why by A. Nomaly	Bill Z Bub 99.239.12.102	5-Mar-09/10:00 PM
I didn't mean to one up anything, I was just inspired by the thought of licorice and kisses... in fact it inspired a whole prose poem of some length that I'm still working on. I have't yet decided if I'm going to post it though, as its very personal.
Re: a comment on the only thing worse than living (revised, liberated) by Bill Z Bub	Bill Z Bub 99.239.12.102	5-Mar-09/9:57 PM
yeah that was just how I rolled, man.
Re: Ode to the Potato by jessicazee	nentwined 75.83.196.201	5-Mar-09/9:55 PM
If I was hungry to begin with, I was not by the middle of the first stanza... (and, okay, I wasn't quite hungry, but I _had_ been considering dessert). Second stanza has more promise, imo.
Re: Dream Samurai by Lifeboatman	nentwined 75.83.196.201	5-Mar-09/9:54 PM
huh? Hmm. Makes more sense when I notice the title--but I'm still lost with a plastic blue pipe.
Re: harvest moon by Caducus	nentwined 75.83.196.201	5-Mar-09/9:53 PM
"gnawed to origin and silica"? no grok. I want more punctuation (elders' wrists? or?) You've got some good stuff inter-woven, and I even see the thread--the thread seems solid; but I think you need to work on your stitching? a 7, but I think it could be a 9 or a 10.
Re: a comment on the only thing worse than living (revised, liberated) by Bill Z Bub	nentwined 75.83.196.201	5-Mar-09/9:51 PM
I think the shift at the last is kind of necessary for where it's aiming, but agree it misses the mark. Overall the thing's too random for me, but it has some good stuff going on. Still, why the weird spacing? Am I missing something, or is that just how you were "grooving" at the time?
Re: 2am and sober in the digital age by nentwined	nentwined 75.83.196.201	5-Mar-09/9:49 PM
*sniff* not even a slam?
Re: the end of the world, c'est soir by Bill Z Bub	nentwined 75.83.196.201	5-Mar-09/9:48 PM
hah, that's great. well, I mean, not Great, but I like what you did, sir, I do. I like what you did with that, and did not see it coming. Half-way through I was going to comment that I've written stuff far too similar to this (as part of a longer short-story), but I like what you did. :)
Re: The Project by malpaso	nentwined 75.83.196.201	5-Mar-09/9:46 PM
I think I need the same drugs as you to feel this right. Still, better than a lot of crap that gets nailed to the wall.
Re: a comment on 9 Things to Eat for Breakfast & Why by A. Nomaly	nentwined 75.83.196.201	5-Mar-09/9:45 PM
I think your reply one-upped (no, make that ten-upped) the poem.