Re: With Old Light by Ranger	ecargo 167.219.88.140	31-Aug-06/7:17 AM
Hi Ranger. :) I need to really read this and think about it (when has that ever stopped anyone from commenting?), but initial impressions: metaphors are all over the place and too disconnected from one another. Some common thread to pull it together, subtle or otherwise, would give this better continuity and ground it or center it or whatever. But some excellent lines and images ("rusted gateway of a silly notion").
Re: Pleasure. (Leisure Spoof) by Ulterius	ecargo 167.219.88.140	31-Aug-06/7:13 AM
From Owen to Davies--how eclectically you spoof. Clever. ;)
Re: Felice Et Eroticum Est. by Ulterius	ecargo 167.219.88.140	31-Aug-06/7:11 AM
Good god--who ARE you? This is brilliant. I think Owen would have found it hilarious. I do. Terrific, very "'rankerish" spoof.
Re: Let Me Entertain You by Bethy	Dovina 12.72.44.122	30-Aug-06/8:29 PM
I must disagree with Ranger on the last line of verse 1, simply because I was laughing there. Put a space before Hanky. I don't like "dirty ole' girl" - sounds contradictory. "I danced like a pro" sounds conceited, though I know what you mean. Other than that, a fine fling and a fine ending.
Re: Pane Glass Lake by MacFrantic	Dovina 12.72.44.122	30-Aug-06/8:23 PM
No comma after discovered. Comma after fields. Period after lakeside. Temove "so." Replace the colon with a comma. At least it makes more sense to me that way.
Re: Words (Final Version) by Wakeboarder20	Dovina 12.72.44.122	30-Aug-06/8:18 PM
I'm sure it's a tramatic event, but something is lost to me in the poetry. She (I assume she) is in your arms with her wrists cut opened, and she's alive enough to shed tears and talk of angels. Then she dies. And the only concern exoressed in the poem is that no words came to the narrator. It seems that action to stop the bleeding would be a greater concern. So there is something going on that I'm not getting from the poem.
Re: Message sent by A_Dark_Calm	amanda_dcosta 202.164.136.110	30-Aug-06/9:41 AM
I think the thirteenth line should read.. 'seem' instead of seemed. Apart from that.... it's beautiful. And welcome to Poemranker.
Re: Let Me Entertain You by Bethy	Ranger 86.131.52.57	29-Aug-06/10:04 PM
A couple of typos - 'Twas and 'peeked'. Other than that...HA! I just wish you'd change the last line of stanza one to something more subtle; that was the only line I wasn't laughing at.
Re: a comment on Pane Glass Lake by MacFrantic	MacFrantic 129.82.152.123	29-Aug-06/2:41 PM
You are correct. Thank you.
Re: An Ode To My Dead Husband Bert by Edna Sweetlove	zodiac 152.18.33.185	29-Aug-06/2:34 PM
Millay would have made it rhyme. Check it out. Love is not all: it is not meat nor drink Nor slumber nor a roof against the rain; Nor yet a floating spar to men that sink And rise and sink and rise and sink again; Love can not fill the thickened lung with breath, Nor clean the blood, nor set the fractured bone; Yet many a man is making friends with death Even as I speak, for lack of love alone. It well may be that in a difficult hour, Pinned down by pain and moaning for release, Or nagged by want past resolution's power, I might be driven to sell your love for peace, Or trade the memory of this night for food. It may well be. I do not think I would.
Re: Ending Well by Dovina	A_Dark_Calm 71.75.188.163	29-Aug-06/2:20 PM
I know guys like this. Wish you'd decide on rhyme or nonrhyme.
Re: With Old Light by Ranger	A_Dark_Calm 71.75.188.163	29-Aug-06/2:11 PM
Wonderful.
Re: a comment on Message sent by A_Dark_Calm	A_Dark_Calm 71.75.188.163	29-Aug-06/1:58 PM
I was wondering about whether I needed a comma there. Thankya. The computer reference is sort of a give away.
Re: Tree (WARNING: do NOT hug!) by Yardbird	Ulterius 82.46.97.41	29-Aug-06/1:24 PM
Inane.
Re: An Ode To My Dead Husband Bert by Edna Sweetlove	Bethy 165.154.46.204	29-Aug-06/1:02 PM
Should I laugh? :) good poem, Bethy
Re: Ending Well by Dovina	Bethy 165.154.46.204	29-Aug-06/12:43 PM
Hi Dovina, your poems have always been some of my favs...Bethy :)
Re: Quatrain by ALChemy	Bethy 165.154.46.204	29-Aug-06/12:39 PM
This is gooood Al, yeah it's me Bethy...:)
Re: a comment on On the subject of being poor by Stephen Robins	Ranger 81.158.153.184	29-Aug-06/12:27 PM
I assume by that you mean this is fairly brown, but tarnished by the occasional flecks of coke white?
Re: a comment on Quatrain by ALChemy	Ranger 81.158.153.184	29-Aug-06/12:25 PM
I've learned from the best that poemranker has to offer, although there's still a long way to go. I'm following your lead, really. I mean, I've seen the way your poetry has improved since your early posts - in the same way that mine has too (my early posts were far worse though ;-)). Your writing deserves maximum respect from anyone worth their while.
Re: Retail by Wakeboarder20	Ranger 81.158.153.184	29-Aug-06/12:14 PM
Really good read. I swear I've seen the same title somewhere else before though.