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An Ode To My Dead Husband Bert (Ode) by Edna Sweetlove
Oh to have you in me now that wan Autumn's fart Is just around the corner, but you have gone from me. Dust to dust and ashes to fucking ashes, You have snuffed it, verily, alas, woe is me. No more shall I enjoy your toothless, rancid gums Slurping their loathsome, circuitous, lazy route Over my bloated and degenerate body In a parody of love's old sweet tuneless song. No more shall I feel your louse-infested body Thrusting butchly 'twixt my trembling wide-open thighs Or sucking and slobbering, grunting sweet nothings Through my excitingly matted unwashed pubics; However I do have joyous consolation: I now have undisputed rights to the vibrator, And do not need to be constantly cleansing it After your prostatic stimulation sessions.

Up the ladder: A Poem For George Bush
Down the ladder: When I Was Eight

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Arithmetic Mean: 6.2916665
Weighted score: 6.283022
Overall Rank: 891
Posted: August 29, 2006 11:04 AM PDT; Last modified: August 29, 2006 11:04 AM PDT
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Comments:
[7] Bethy @ 165.154.46.204 | 29-Aug-06/1:02 PM | Reply
Should I laugh? :) good poem, Bethy
[n/a] zodiac @ 152.18.33.185 | 29-Aug-06/2:34 PM | Reply
Millay would have made it rhyme. Check it out.

Love is not all: it is not meat nor drink
Nor slumber nor a roof against the rain;
Nor yet a floating spar to men that sink
And rise and sink and rise and sink again;
Love can not fill the thickened lung with breath,
Nor clean the blood, nor set the fractured bone;
Yet many a man is making friends with death
Even as I speak, for lack of love alone.
It well may be that in a difficult hour,
Pinned down by pain and moaning for release,
Or nagged by want past resolution's power,
I might be driven to sell your love for peace,
Or trade the memory of this night for food.
It may well be. I do not think I would.
[10] deleted user @ 87.74.45.126 | 31-Aug-06/9:25 AM | Reply
I LOVE prostatic stimulation. Preferably from a well-hung brute of a man! 10 points min -anyone who gives it less is a cunt.
[8] Caducus @ 86.137.20.84 > deleted user | 1-Sep-06/7:24 AM | Reply
i am a cunt
[8] Caducus @ 86.137.20.84 | 1-Sep-06/7:23 AM | Reply
Bert sounds like a man my Aunt married.

Gratuitously gross

well done
[6] nypoet22 @ 70.149.108.201 | 9-Sep-06/3:00 AM | Reply
grotesque. captivating. wan autumn's fart is superb. lines 3 and 4 don't add anything useful. middle 2 stanzas are pretty clever. very original stuff for the most part, but for me the gross-out factor ends up killing it at the end.
[10] Sing4Jesus! @ 85.210.211.16 | 13-Sep-06/5:53 PM | Reply
I love gross, especially if Christ is coming up me at the time.
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