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Let Me Entertain You (Free verse) by Bethy
T'was, a long night, so warm and forbidden. I sat in the kitchen, my girl parts all hidden. Gosh, its hot, I thought with a smirk. Looked around in the empty, and slipped off my shirt. Ain't no one here, but my two cats,Hanky and Beans. I peaked out the window, and hauled off my jeans. Now, one might think, what a dirty ole' girl. I turned up the music, and began to twirl. Around and around, I danced like a pro. Yep! Ginger Rogers, Well, at least I thought so. In exhaustion I plopped, right down to the floor. Then applause and laughter, my Mom, at the door.

Up the ladder: Soft and Pure
Down the ladder: What Has It Gotten Us?

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Arithmetic Mean: 7.428571
Weighted score: 5.6531434
Overall Rank: 2103
Posted: August 29, 2006 1:30 PM PDT; Last modified: August 29, 2006 1:30 PM PDT
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Comments:
[8] Ranger @ 86.131.52.57 | 29-Aug-06/10:04 PM | Reply
A couple of typos - 'Twas and 'peeked'. Other than that...HA! I just wish you'd change the last line of stanza one to something more subtle; that was the only line I wasn't laughing at.
[8] Dovina @ 12.72.44.122 | 30-Aug-06/8:29 PM | Reply
I must disagree with Ranger on the last line of verse 1, simply because I was laughing there.

Put a space before Hanky.
I don't like "dirty ole' girl" - sounds contradictory.
"I danced like a pro" sounds conceited, though I know what you mean.

Other than that, a fine fling and a fine ending.


[7] DamienDen @ 168.103.213.204 | 31-Aug-06/1:36 PM | Reply
Hilarious, very entertaining. I enjoyed it very much.
[10] Stephen Robins @ 213.146.148.199 | 4-Jan-07/7:38 AM | Reply
Jolly ace.
[n/a] Bethy @ 165.154.46.155 > Stephen Robins | 7-Jan-07/12:44 PM | Reply
Thank you Stephen...its a true little poem...lol :) Bethy
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