Re: Blind Fart by Blind Fart	conny lingers 0:0:0:0:0:0:0:1	1-Feb-21/10:53 AM
This is totally true. To make sure have a good sniff.
Re: Grafton Street Late Joys by Engelbert Humpalot	conny lingers 127.0.0.1	1-Feb-21/10:48 AM
You were lucky she had her full complement of limbs. My midget wife has a major deficit in the limbs department.
Re: the edge of creation - spoken word by nentwined	Dovina 0:0:0:0:0:0:0:1	27-Jan-21/5:26 PM
Rocky Mountain high says John Denver you not far from never odd to introduce God high elevation work hard there that's the high
Re: Getting Ahead by Jill Stockinger	Dovina 0:0:0:0:0:0:0:1	27-Jan-21/5:18 PM
yes I would. I'd use everything inside your head. If only I could.
Re: Getting Ahead by Jill Stockinger	nentwined 0:0:0:0:0:0:0:1	22-Jan-21/5:15 PM
love it :)
Re: Sparkling Rust by SupremeDreamer	Jill Stockinger 127.0.0.1	21-Jan-21/1:07 PM
Ending is very powerful. Very sad. 1 point: you use "vhs tape called memory" and then you say "like and old film". They mean the same thing really, should change "like an old film" to something that differs more, I suggest.
Re: The Maguswolf by SupremeDreamer	Jill Stockinger 0:0:0:0:0:0:0:1	7-Jan-21/4:20 PM
Love the use of valetudinarian! You don't shrink from the hard words!
Re: A heart without keys by sliver	Jill Stockinger 127.0.0.1	2-Jan-21/6:51 PM
I really liked the last 2 lines, like how it goes Against the common cliche of "key to my heart"
Re: Mr. America (Hunting Season) by SupremeDreamer	Jill Stockinger 127.0.0.1	2-Jan-21/6:49 PM
In the second stanza, when you use the word daydreaming, grammatically it appears you are saying the dead rabbits are daydreaming... No comma between decorated and with the head...
Re: Vodka kisses & the final sigh, v.II (bloody vodka remix) by SupremeDreamer	Jill Stockinger 0:0:0:0:0:0:0:1	2-Jan-21/6:46 PM
cannot (one word) unless you think it is more "poetic" to keep them separated- I really do not think it is, I believe it just detracts from the flow. bleedin' red...witherin'-saggin'-stirrin' ...
Re: Scarlet Wyvern by SupremeDreamer	Jill Stockinger 0:0:0:0:0:0:0:1	2-Jan-21/6:44 PM
father's old - I feel you use quick rhymes sometimes instead of finding or using better-crafted sentences, especially since you have a gift with words
Re: Death & the Twisted Tree by SupremeDreamer	Jill Stockinger 0:0:0:0:0:0:0:1	2-Jan-21/6:40 PM
You have the tree as a being when you used "who was a master of time" but switched to it being a thing or object in the next stanza, using "it" showed me- these need to match, not contradict. a man's reality (apostrophe)Really like the lines: There is no end to these roads/ they are as twisted and coiled as I am. Beautiful! The last 2 lines are kind of a let down, I think, with awkward phrasing.
Re: Billy and the voices by SupremeDreamer	Jill Stockinger 127.0.0.1	2-Jan-21/6:35 PM
it's a matter It's annoying Pretty macabre!
Re: Indiana Jones and the Temple of 'shroom by SupremeDreamer	Jill Stockinger 0:0:0:0:0:0:0:1	2-Jan-21/6:34 PM
Shrooms! been a long time...
Re: Eris, my blade, the accurst villanelle by SupremeDreamer	Jill Stockinger 127.0.0.1	2-Jan-21/6:33 PM
foe's flesh...cannot (one word) shan't (shall not, a contraction) like how you were careful with the metaphor (this poem is a blade) so it is fitting you would "sheathe" it if it does not sell-great last line!
Re: I Have... by SupremeDreamer	Jill Stockinger 127.0.0.1	2-Jan-21/6:29 PM
like many of the lines, such as "forging art from thought by crafting verse. The lines are uneven, some just do not match the craft of other lines... need apostrophes in poet's craft...one's imperfections...one's imaginary...one's self-perfection you do carry the argument through the whole poem...
Re: maternal-infant bonding (rejection) by SupremeDreamer	Jill Stockinger 127.0.0.1	2-Jan-21/6:22 PM
mummie's milk... found the poem funny, enjoyed it.
Re: The Pedagogue and his son by SupremeDreamer	Jill Stockinger 0:0:0:0:0:0:0:1	2-Jan-21/6:21 PM
it's a bitch... you accidentally dropped the "n" in the word convince...
Re: The Sinners Saloon by SupremeDreamer	Jill Stockinger 127.0.0.1	2-Jan-21/6:19 PM
Recommend an apostrophe for Sinners' Saloon- (Saloon of Sinners)--what do you have against apostrophes? Good poem.
Re: Dawns Blood Concealed by SupremeDreamer	Jill Stockinger 127.0.0.1	2-Jan-21/6:18 PM
candent veins- intense! I don't see how suspense is ever really placid... liked the ending1 Strong!