hmmmm, where is her gaze, i like it

What the sam hill?

I feel this piece would be greatly improved if you edited it. Look for repetetive or redundant lines, trim it down to give it better impact and so it doesn't seem to drag on and on. Despite that, I'm compelled to give it a nine. It's honest, funny, and pushes the right buttons for me.

Smashin. Blessed with ten.

This is one of the few poems that I think actually deserves to be in the top 20. Wait, does that make sense? Oh well..Great job!

Over-all, the rain theme isn't very strong, and the ending didn't help that much at all-- reminded me of something that would be penned by a highschool girlie. Blessed with six.

I like your expresion of feeling

Certain stanzas were pretty good, but some of the other stuff such as: "Did the sun blind me that day? Cloud my eyes from reality Create feelings you never felt for me?" AND "Oh let me swing! You thought I would look silly among the kids We were suppose to go back that night Do you remember? But it rained-so we said ‘next time’" Really sounded childish or "teenaged". The rest could be revised into a more fluid and enjoyable piece. As for how that could be done? I leave you to figure that out for yourself-- it's better that way, me thinks. Blessed with seven.

BLOBBY BLOBBY BOLB BLOB BLOBBY

42

more, search your heart

Wicked..

You mean the cliché that is your entire body of poetry?

Hi! You know, despite our difference of opinions on opinions, I think your poemes are really good. You should try to get some of them published!

Ok, this poem was just a bad excuse to use big words..Haha..That wasnt very nice of me to say but..It was OK so I will grant you a -7-

Hey doug, this has a very honest feel to it. Let me pick at it a bit too, hopefully focusing on things you might use in other poems. the word "can" just takes up space, really it does't convey anything except as a noun. And "still" - same thing. LEt me give you one more thing to think about. This saying you hear LMich and actually using the word "hear" - also not a big value adding word in this context. Suppose you had done instead Lake Michigan soft and stoic, cobalt breakers lilted Beer Garden breezes ... [etc.] See, the same thing is conveyed but without the burden of those words; it's [I hope] more showing than telling. Why make the reader work if they get nothing in return? But even without that stuff, this still has a very sweet feel.

Gee, you tend to get attached don't you?

Speechless, only 'cause I don't know what to say;}

I'm getting bored with giving you 9s and 10s so here's a 7. It probably deserves an 8 but, well, I'm drunk and I'm not gonna give ya one.

Reading is masturbation for the mind.