Deja Vu

God, I have these memories now Thick about my frame and senses Gumming up this 'need' I have to learn I no longer have you, or him, and I doubt now that I ever did. And the sky will keep, and the Sea, it sleeps While mountains meet at fault lines. Thoughts I thumb-nailed to cork board about the Mayans, and ancient civilizations, inventions, and if there's a resurrection? I would gladly let them go and simplify Instead, now, I'm mad with information Detoxing on my own dereliction. A man lacking any conviction, perpetually twilight. The sun does not fail me, so I will not fail you Though you have let me down, premeditated I think of those giant redwoods, so old, committed to reach, and be firm. The saw with its politician smirk, and plug, and trigger Late at night, into the morning, these blurs, these brightening wisps of becoming leave me. To grow my beard long, and die in a cave My heart, this muted bird caged, this rage, and primal scream that shakes my cells loose to the floor, soon will also fade away And I will beg the earth with my shaky arthritic hands, to hold me to it close, and I will know with my last breath, I lived.