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Deja Vu (Free verse) by Jeremi B. Handrinos
God, I have these memories now Thick about my frame and senses Gumming up this 'need' I have to learn I no longer have you, or him, and I doubt now that I ever did. And the sky will keep, and the Sea, it sleeps While mountains meet at fault lines. Thoughts I thumb-nailed to cork board about the Mayans, and ancient civilizations, inventions, and if there's a resurrection? I would gladly let them go and simplify Instead, now, I'm mad with information Detoxing on my own dereliction. A man lacking any conviction, perpetually twilight. The sun does not fail me, so I will not fail you Though you have let me down, premeditated I think of those giant redwoods, so old, committed to reach, and be firm. The saw with its politician smirk, and plug, and trigger Late at night, into the morning, these blurs, these brightening wisps of becoming leave me. To grow my beard long, and die in a cave My heart, this muted bird caged, this rage, and primal scream that shakes my cells loose to the floor, soon will also fade away And I will beg the earth with my shaky arthritic hands, to hold me to it close, and I will know with my last breath, I lived.

Down the ladder: A Piñon Planter

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Arithmetic Mean: 7.5
Weighted score: 6.25
Overall Rank: 928
Posted: June 17, 2004 6:03 PM PDT; Last modified: June 17, 2004 6:03 PM PDT
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Comments:
[9] SupremeDreamer @ 204.31.174.226 | 18-Jun-04/8:27 PM | Reply
Bravo.
[9] arduinn @ 165.21.154.16 | 19-Jun-04/6:02 AM | Reply
Wicked..
[8] Jill Stockinger @ 127.0.0.1 | 21-Dec-20/6:26 PM | Reply
Loved some of your lines:
especially
"sky will keep, and the sea, it sleeps; "thoughts I thumbnailed to cork board" and "giant redwoods, so old/committed to reach, and be firm"

Felt some of it (especially beginning) did not mesh with the rest, which was like a progressive story of a life. Might be better to start with second stanza, greater impact that way. Possibly?! Like your ending.
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