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Deja Vu (Free verse) by Jeremi B. Handrinos
God, I have these memories now
Thick about my frame and senses
Gumming up this 'need' I have to learn
I no longer have you, or him, and
I doubt now that I ever did. And the
sky will keep, and the Sea, it sleeps
While mountains meet at fault lines.
Thoughts I thumb-nailed to cork board
about the Mayans, and ancient civilizations,
inventions, and if there's a resurrection?
I would gladly let them go and simplify
Instead, now, I'm mad with information
Detoxing on my own dereliction. A man
lacking any conviction, perpetually twilight.
The sun does not fail me, so I will not fail you
Though you have let me down, premeditated
I think of those giant redwoods, so old,
committed to reach, and be firm. The saw
with its politician smirk, and plug, and trigger
Late at night, into the morning, these blurs,
these brightening wisps of becoming leave me.
To grow my beard long, and die in a cave
My heart, this muted bird caged, this rage,
and primal scream that shakes my cells
loose to the floor, soon will also fade away
And I will beg the earth with my shaky
arthritic hands, to hold me to it close, and
I will know with my last breath, I lived.