INTRANSIT
on Milk and gas by Caducus
23 Dec 2007, 11:03 AM
I wouldn't have gotten that but that's my ignorance about Plath.
It's offical. I hate you. Congrats.
A nice poem with difference.
what a superb portrait of a child growing like a tough beautiful flower from the dung of his father's shadow---I loved it!!
The dream that has changed world
The dream had snowed my mind
Where the shining was about to reflect beyond
On the mount of where the divinity was born
The infinity of love has fathomed all horizons
The exitance was not contained of this world
The world Where these two worlds’ve been lost
It’s time my longing eyes are raining my heart
And my lips are kissing my soul to fly away
To where it belongs as it’s following the dove
but my love is still trying to keep world away
from wars making all decayding days
from fears making that dream fade away
in this human greed just ashes will remain
nothing more than a fist can be gained
once there was a heart
now there is love last forever
The love is giving the peace
to those seekers of peace and love
Mery christmas ...and thanx for ur comments
and also ur beautiful poems has enchanted my mind and my heart
Good poem, a little melodramatic in spots, but overall portrayed with depth and emotion. The rhyme scheme was pretty good, "All my agony mist" seemed a little awkward and "black as a pit" a little cliche(ic), I loved the line "all that were left was memory's last breath" - Good job on this.
outstanding!!!
Debased soul in the devine body of
methylated illusion.
Despicable and utterly delightful. Those saved for a dead god musn't be wasted. That would be a real sin that should be prevented.
As much as I enjoy the short poem, due to lack of true inteligence...I can't seem to get a handle on this one. There's no oomph or moment of clarity, or nod, or small smile, or any of the things that brings instant understanding of what your saying, that should come with shorter writes.
"You wanna go do somethin'?"
sighs
"Nah"
- boredom, apathy...a statement, but is it poetry? hmmm?
Trucker terms, or Greek, who knows. I cycle with the biggest, rumba with the Macs. Parkour stumps me. Please, not over a fence. Fly ball and swerve on - I wont ask. Now, elope for a few on the server, I like. When ignorant, vote 7.
every minutes u described it was very intersting to me
I like it because of this lyric is more cinematic than the others
Zero Mostell. Hah! Great stuff.
How many hopeless people are suffering ?
Within the voiceless world
and who’s behind this show ?
who’s that child ?
demonstrating the deep sense of famine
in the heart of the heartless world
Who’s running this world ?
Why some folks can’t raise their voice ?
As well as it raise so may questions
In their bare minds and also abomination
Far from the great expecation of human kind
Could we understand how they live ?
In the context of despairs
Or in the mataphore of the wasteland
Where you are blamed
To build their worlds upon the toxic wastland
And you started to obsever
What they react insead of the word “ living”
All they’re reactions or expermints on them
It has only one message after all
The show must go on
for your better life and world
You cant help yourself watching the opera
The opear of third world
Childern’re playing in the dumping ground
While you try to be more sympathetic
Because that’s entertaining you
It’s not the reality of your life
dealing with it ..it’s the dumping world
and a good senior of a opera
while the future is still bleak for them
day after day they face their fatal fate
you still dump things
and they die in the dumping grave
I've read this over and over--it's still good but I feel like somthing is missing. Maybe another stanza or make stanza two the last one?
I think Kipling said it best:
Take up the White Man's burden—
The savage wars of peace—
Fill full the mouth of Famine,
And bid the sickness cease;
And when your goal is nearest
(The end for others sought)
Watch sloth and heathen folly
Bring all your hope to nought.
That is why I shan't be donating.