very deep and emotional poem, I liked a lot, can relate to the feelings expressed. I didn't like the format of how it is laid out, i dont think the lines should run out so far, the only other critique is the line that ends in yay! don't like yay! any way I enjoyed the read.

I like the parallel last lines of V1 and V3. Good throughout, except: What have you got against punctuation in last line of V2, since you use it throughout?

Very spare. Too spare I think. First verse is good. "creating moments" is overused, especially standing alone. "issues slick"?

I repeated "a stranger warmly fed" a few times out loud. Good feelings. Didn't love "as sickly kids in Pakistan" (to clarify, I LOVE those kids), but not sure your specificity there works. Last stanza's first two lines are as striking and good-ending-y as it comes, but the last line seems out-of-place? Really liked this, thanks for making me think, inspirational. 9

5th Stanza will court controversy and as its an opinion of the writers you may be asked by some to elaborate on it. Like baby in the hay but dont like sickly kids in.... Line 2 needs to end with - is, or a link to next line. I think you can say this shorter with more impact and leave out your thoughts and write from a neutral ground.

Very generic and exclusive for two. It totally lacks originality and rhyming does not validate it as a poem.

Weird, Chauceresque.

Goes on a bit but how it all connects stanza to stanza plus the fact that it engaged me has to be thumbs up and not two fingers. Reads well.

bang.

Is this a joke?

As appealing as britneys hole.

Limp.

The Christmas timing makes me wonder and chuckle. But I think it's tender and not Christmasey, but affectionate and giving. At least that's my take on it.

a sad tale well told.

Love the last stanza, and bits here and there also appeal. Stanzas one and two are nice but could be reworded to be a bit more, well, poetic. The sickly kids section is also promising, but I don't really like the word 'kids' in poetry. And I hate seeing life rhymed with strife. It's only a flying visit I've paid, but I have read this a couple of times since it was posted. Hope the Christmas season's treating you well!

Aside from the punctuation not scanning well at the start (it's the hyphen that threw me) this is excellent.

A nice poem ...

Been busy lately, couldn't get round to the ranker. Obviously not the way I was going, (though I did miss my mark ) there's potential here. Drop- Then the, as the, hot brakes, until, a sign, fuck it. condense the jake line and the following line. Make jake a capital OR a corporation.

If I could find fault with this, I'd be a professor. That's a compliment, Sir.

I don't know what you're doing. I just know it's working.