Trust me, America is the best thing ever.

not to be ruede but your rudamentary rhyming turns me off immediatley............... -megan

i really like this [cept for the republican part..:)] -megan

never knew him - now i cant -

large word cant save a poem - 5

That it is a fantastic anthem for all the confused members of the human race. Your various points seem to be: 1) America spends more on space travel than finding a cure for disease. I believe US companies would love to find a cure for AIDS and cancer as it would make them more money - I don't believe there is a direct correlation between the budgets of NASA and Pfizer. 2) Because America is wealthy it should not have homeless people. Bow'ls. 3) The law backs the wealthy against the "people". Bernie Ebbers would probably back you right to the point where he goes down for 80 years. 4) By invading a despotic state whose main aim was to cause as much turbulence in the Middle East as possible the safety and security of the United states has been in some way compromised. How many terrorist bombings have there been in the USA since the overthrow of the regimes in Iraq and Afghanistan? 5) Never has the USA been more united never has a president received such an enhanced majority in favour of his previous term in office, never have so few disgruntled lefties whinged quite so loudly. -10-

According to tradition, it's the young who raise rabble and carry signs with four letter words and protest everything the establishment is doing. Unless you're younger than I think, we have here an exception, an atypical bandstaner, a non-stereotype. Rant on!

This style of creating a mood followed by quick jab of insight at the end is very enjoyable. "I like the clouds. I want my head, in the clouds, My job is..." Would make you sound more certain of your conclusion but might ruin the mood. -10- is in the clouds.

I have a poem that comes from lights called "Star Bright." Your poem is about the beauty of the lights.It's the opposite mine. I enjoyed your conclusion much more than mine. Shuushin is ussually "right on" in his comments. But if it is the use of the word beauty that is bothersome, I don't understand. I see "beauty-beautiful" used only twice. Have you edited this work since the comment was made?

i thought it was awesome!

You’ve encountered the typical American man. I’ve been told on good authority that if you don’t do it, they don’t want you. I’ve met several who walked away for the same reason. But I have to confess that his hand slipping under my skirt to my knee, or a little past, aroused tender desires, mostly the kind that wanted to give a hug to a lonely man. And I still believe that’s what he’d want if he could sort out his feelings. That’s why I don’t give up.

Not bad. Wordy in places, but not bad. One of your best.

Not a limerick. Would be stronger without the first word in each line, Lies/Cries/Screams . . .

Strange how the usual love stuff is so unusual and new. Just try to say it with a lot less words.

lol. Much better writing. Incase you can't tell, I'm smiling alot as I write this. -10-

Your right. Everyone of those building have stories to tell. After all, Hamilton! was once known for its smugglers, murders, and drugs/acholol(Prohibition Era). If that basement could talk........ Lets just say the voice would be very mellow. -8- The ending feels rushed compared to the lush details, of the other lines. A good ending none the less. <3 Jason

I know things now, now I can't be a believer, now I can't look at the sky without crying, can't look at the stars without mourning the loss of my ancestors. Lose it, and use shoes to carry you to a close as it were. You had me until that verse. Try using your words to sculpt an image that says what you mean here, without being tediously long, or losing meaning. An improvement by FAR from the last time I read on of yours. -7-. Everything else works fairly well. <3 Jason

i ran into a wall

I can see you ran into a wall without your saying so. And the spacing is just distracting. Other than that it's not bad.

ROFLMMFAO