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Knowledge (Free verse) by the_poetess
I hate you,
because you opened up my eyes
to the world
you made me know,
but I would rather have been ignorant,
you are a wretch, a snake,
you tricked me with an apple.
I know you think,
that knowledge is power,
but,
knowledge is pain.
I hate pain.
Why couldn't you leave me back in a time,
when a dance was important,
and shoes made me happy.
I know things now,
now I can't be a believer,
now I can't look at the sky without crying,
can't look at the stars without mourning the loss of my ancestors.
Their stories are lost, riding the leaves in the fall
and dying in winter.
Falling like stones in water,
they were all gone,
before I knew they existed.
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Arithmetic Mean: 4.3333335
Weighted score: 4.9205313
Overall Rank: 9481
Posted: March 16, 2005 2:43 PM PST; Last modified: March 16, 2005 2:43 PM PST
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Comments:
186 view(s)
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now I can't be a believer,
now I can't look at the sky without crying,
can't look at the stars without mourning the loss of my ancestors.
Lose it, and use shoes to carry you to a close as it were. You had me until that verse. Try using your words to sculpt an image that says what you mean here, without being tediously long, or losing meaning. An improvement by FAR from the last time I read on of yours. -7-. Everything else works fairly well.
<3 Jason