Edna Sweetlove
on Limericks of hot seething love, gone bad. by horus8
15 May 2006, 4:53 PM
Poor.
Edna Sweetlove
on The band "Sigh" aced their MENSA tests by Jeremi B. Handrinos
15 May 2006, 4:55 PM
Pitiful. Pathetic. Abysmal.
knobs or nobs? Oh dear. 1/10
Raped/plate/stapled do NOT rhyme. You must have the aural equivalent of dyslexia.
Edna Sweetlove
on Fireworks & Family Reunions (Randel's cry for love) by Shardik
15 May 2006, 4:52 PM
Bad rhyming, unamusing, this has everything. I wish I could score it minus.
I guess "sowe" is the English spelling of sow, and "cirrhus" likwise for cirrus. But her name is Sowe, so maybe not. If Sowe is a woman and a weaver, then I don't get the emphasis on trees in verse 3. Voting seven for uncertainty because it kinda rhymes.
INTRANSIT
on Cupid Missed Two Junkies (slightly clearer, rambling draft) by Ranger
15 May 2006, 12:02 PM
is cukoo there for a reason or just to signify craziness. I think it may better the poem to research birds and find something that emphasizes what you are trying to say. I'm barely learning how to be specific myself so, use salt. 28
I find this interesting. You make your point clearly and defend it with pride. Although most people (myself included, wink...) wouldn't entirely agree, it doesn't detract from what you do a good job of proclaiming. It actually reads like a lyric to me in places - must be the good rhythm, another plus!
Last two lines of the third stanza a little weak, though. Try to avoid the '...'
This is bollocks. Your others are better (I hope)
Not my taste, babe.
Not exactly ground-breaking is it, dear?
A bit dull.
pretentious.
Not good. Parochial rubbish in fact.
Otiose, pretentious, wordy, jumped up crap.
Very cunty funny.
awful.
You could do with some punctuation.
Utterly unfunny.
Appallingly unamusing and badly rhymed too.