| regarding some deleted poem... |
Dovina 70.38.78.229 |
15-May-06/11:04 AM |
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I guess "sowe" is the English spelling of sow, and "cirrhus" likwise for cirrus. But her name is Sowe, so maybe not. If Sowe is a woman and a weaver, then I don't get the emphasis on trees in verse 3. Voting seven for uncertainty because it kinda rhymes.
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| Re: Cupid Missed Two Junkies (slightly clearer, rambling draft) by Ranger |
INTRANSIT 152.163.100.6 |
15-May-06/12:02 PM |
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is cukoo there for a reason or just to signify craziness. I think it may better the poem to research birds and find something that emphasizes what you are trying to say. I'm barely learning how to be specific myself so, use salt. 28
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Niphredil 132.69.238.35 |
15-May-06/1:37 PM |
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I find this interesting. You make your point clearly and defend it with pride. Although most people (myself included, wink...) wouldn't entirely agree, it doesn't detract from what you do a good job of proclaiming. It actually reads like a lyric to me in places - must be the good rhythm, another plus!
Last two lines of the third stanza a little weak, though. Try to avoid the '...'
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| Re: With a pithy stroke by D. $ Fontera |
Edna Sweetlove 81.178.117.218 |
15-May-06/4:38 PM |
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This is bollocks. Your others are better (I hope)
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| Re: Is Dying Ugly? by D. $ Fontera |
Edna Sweetlove 81.178.117.218 |
15-May-06/4:39 PM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Edna Sweetlove 81.178.117.218 |
15-May-06/4:41 PM |
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Not exactly ground-breaking is it, dear?
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| Re: Old Friends by sliver |
Edna Sweetlove 81.178.117.218 |
15-May-06/4:43 PM |
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| Re: One Moment to the Other (v3) by nentwined |
Edna Sweetlove 81.178.117.218 |
15-May-06/4:44 PM |
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| Re: Divorcing Tennessee by Dovina |
Edna Sweetlove 81.178.117.218 |
15-May-06/4:45 PM |
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Not good. Parochial rubbish in fact.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Edna Sweetlove 81.178.117.218 |
15-May-06/4:47 PM |
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Otiose, pretentious, wordy, jumped up crap.
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| Re: Room 34 Ashford Hospital by Caducus |
Edna Sweetlove 81.178.117.218 |
15-May-06/4:48 PM |
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| Re: I'M by freakything |
Edna Sweetlove 81.178.117.218 |
15-May-06/4:49 PM |
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| Re: The Prodigal Daughter by Dovina |
Edna Sweetlove 81.178.117.218 |
15-May-06/4:49 PM |
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You could do with some punctuation.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Edna Sweetlove 81.178.117.218 |
15-May-06/4:50 PM |
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| Re: My pimp's ceiling fan by Shardik |
Edna Sweetlove 81.178.117.218 |
15-May-06/4:51 PM |
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Appallingly unamusing and badly rhymed too.
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| Re: Fireworks & Family Reunions (Randel's cry for love) by Shardik |
Edna Sweetlove 81.178.117.218 |
15-May-06/4:52 PM |
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Bad rhyming, unamusing, this has everything. I wish I could score it minus.
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| Re: Quadroons by Shardik |
Edna Sweetlove 81.178.117.218 |
15-May-06/4:52 PM |
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knobs or nobs? Oh dear. 1/10
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| Re: Limericks of hot seething love, gone bad. by horus8 |
Edna Sweetlove 81.178.117.218 |
15-May-06/4:53 PM |
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| Re: AIDS in a nurse by <{Baba^Yaga}> |
Edna Sweetlove 81.178.117.218 |
15-May-06/4:54 PM |
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Raped/plate/stapled do NOT rhyme. You must have the aural equivalent of dyslexia.
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| Re: The band "Sigh" aced their MENSA tests by Jeremi B. Handrinos |
Edna Sweetlove 81.178.117.218 |
15-May-06/4:55 PM |
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Pitiful. Pathetic. Abysmal.
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