Wonderful.

Poofy rubbish.

Not vulgar enough for me.

Worthy of William McGonagall.

Pretty dreary this one.

Obscure and unclear.

Downmarket trash. Well worthy of a poemwanker award.

Very amusing little ditty. Unrealistic though.

Funnier than my Auntie's death from syphilis.

I rather liked this and would have liked it more with a capital C for Cuban.

Did this all come out of the Redcoat comment? It was all in good fun ya'know.

What has this got to do with Brittany - or indeed any other region of France?

Celestial signs in the shitter...... yes, indeed I've had a few of those. A charming little ode.

This is a lovely little poem and may God bless you for it. On the other hand she may well screw you with a 12 inch nail instead.

Odd (as usual) but a fine selection of words. I prefer the English spelling of "foetal" to the somewhat anodyne US version ("fetal"). I shall give 7/10, marginally higher than your recent anonymous rating of one of my nastier pieces. Edna

actually, i fnd this to be a pretty good piece. why didn't you have a lot of fun with the whole american colonies thing? love the sarcastic sentiment.

A bit too location-specific for my taste. As a matter of interest why are so many Americans local town-specific, mentioning little towns no one else has heard of? Would you no be confused if I wrote a poem all about Tenterden or Woolwich Arsenal or Beckenham Junction? Surely it detracts from universality?

This is one of the funniest poems I have ever read. This verse had me in stitches.... "Next morning, I, the road did cross Surprisingly I had a toss A passing bike had brushed me past Into confusion was I cast." I am deeply tempted to plagiarise it, it is so dreadful. It's hard to decide what score: 10/10 for garbage; 0/10 for poetry. Since i think you didn't really know how bad it was I'll go for the latter. If you assure me you meant it as a joke, I'll go for 10/10.

Edna Sweetlove, Your obsession with Mark Rickerby is just sad. When you feel inferior to someone, it's better to just try to put them out of your mind, not create fake profiles under their name. That's called obsessive stalking. It's very unhealthy. I tell you this out of concern for your sanity. Take his photograph off your dart board and use your powers for good. Most importantly, don't compare yourself to the best. It will only lead to disappointment and despair. Compare yourself to someone who is beneath you. If you can't find anyone that low, at least compare yourself to someone on your level, such as a blind, alcoholic prostitute with leprecy. Best wishes, The Last Boy Scout

For the less intelligent among you (and he knows who he is) this is satire.