I see the torch has been passed . . . well, it is in the 'ranker tradition, but you'll have to work at it a bit, sweet Edna, before you'll get the accolades due a Stephen Robins, let alone a -=DA=-P.I. Still, I appreciate the effort! You left out the part about the speculum (what I like to affectionately call "The Crank") stored in ice water and the lovely queef (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vaginal_flatulence) that often occurs at the end of the procedure. I'd have to take off major points for those omissions, if I were to vote, Edna.

love, from above? i know you're constrained by the sonnet form, but if i were you i'd scrap the last two lines and write something completely different. it almost sounds as if you just ran out of things to say and regressed to the least common denominator. push yourself!

jumping off buildings Just to part the crowd i like this. because of the cliche first and third lines i think some people may give up on this poem prematurely, but i like the feeling in the last few. as a poem on the subject of suicide, i guess it can't help being a bit over the top, so to speak. consider a different beginning, but keep the end.

pleasant blankverse. the first two stanzas paint a moving, deliberate picture, and i'm waiting for the payoff, but the final strophe doesn't quite deliver. after "earthen pitch," it reads like you're trying to jam too much information into a space that won't hold it. i'm all for clever metaphors, but in this case i think you need to leave the leaping lizards and passing insects. readdress the ending more literally and bring your main idea into focus.

"And I’ve lost another shoelace in this giant vat of beer." just when i was ready to write it off as a futile exercise, that line saves the poem. Normality is not grammatically incorrect, but it's generally referred to as normalcy. not that that's a good thing.

very "hallmark card"

Freud has been a called a man with "a whole climate of opinion." - WH Auden. So you have written a Freudian weather poem. Admit its inevitability. Death solves many conflicts, and our atoms mix eventually with those we hate. Best not to hate; maybe that's what you;re saying. Good poem.

wait, i get it now. it's a 9/11 poem! jeez. still a little inane to conceptualize it this way... but i have to admit it's substantially more clever than i initially thought.

I would love to have a front row stall view at the gynaecologists...

Excellent !

Sloppy, poorly thought out PIFFLE.

Very clever. Well done Engy!

It seems overly wordy for what's being said, as if it's a first draft. Could be made into something though. Led, not lead, in the penultimate verse.

Ha! Wow--it's better than Eric Idle's updated version, even (yeah, I'm a geek and had to see how it compared to the original and otherwise). Love how you kept to the original rhyme scheme in places but utterly subverted this. I have to say--yes, I have to say it--"what a real great write." ;) Very fun. Well done.

I like the last couple of paragraphs...the lighter falling, the hate, the vows, the truth...all very emotional, very well written.

If nothing else, the subject matter is completely original. Great idea; wish i'd thought of it.

The rhyme and rhythm are very forced. The structure of the poem is almost an afterthought, you might want to consider incorperating them while writing instead.

I think this might be something Keanu Reeves wrote when he was thirteen. I better not criticize this further though; his "anger engulfs him" and that sounds dangerous.

What's up, buddy? Just wanted to say hi, I'll be back later to read your poem.

Damned good, I didn't recognise the rhyme scheme until the second read. Last couplet is a killer; having just walked back through town in the rain I had to laugh at what people were wearing, or I would if I hadn't walked to a club, found a queue longer than a very long piece of string and strolled back again. I meant to leave a message on your blogspace quite recently, actually, but when I got to it I just couldn't think what to write. Are you back at uni, or was last year your finals? If so, what did you finish with?