Hello Edna, I'm going to say this once so I hope you'll pay close attention. What you attempt to pass off on this site as poetry is actually prose written in columns and stanzas -- and pretty silly, sloppy prose at that. You have the mistaken idea, like quite a few young, green, imature "poets," that shocking language and "cutesy" ideas are somehow synonomous with poetry. In your case, however, it's not just bad writing. That I could put up with, given your obviously "new student" level of writing. In your case, it's arrogance as well, and that I have a very hard time overlooking. Not only does it make you look foolish as a person, it makes your work even more silly and unprofessional. Take my word for it. You don't write good poetry. And the "poets" on this or any other site who seem to think you do, are as green and cluelss as you. My suggestion? Drop the "Muse Queen" facade and take a good hard look at yourself and what you're doing (or, rather, trying to do). Then, if you're really serious about the craft, take a few lessons in modesty, find a mentor and study hard, write alot, and set about REALLY learning how to create good poetry. Good luck!

Pretty boring.

I fell asleep after stanza #1.

Have you heard of capital letters?

If this is poetry, I'm a Chinaman.

Inconsequential.

Illiterate garbage.

Hmm, not exactly fab is it?

What sort of word is "pricker", sweetie? The rest shows promise.

I really like it. :D

Having just read your lippy comment on a piece I wrote I thought I'd come and see what you write yourself. Well, well, well. It was even worse than I thought. The word which first springs to mind is "pretentious", the second word is "ungrammatical" and the third word is "tripe". You will be happy to know I shall not bother read anything you write again. You appear to be labouring under the delusion that, to write poetry, you scribble a couple of sentences (if they can be called that as some are bereft of verbs) of dodgy semi-comprehensible illiterate prose and then you break it up into odd little lines. You are wrong. 2/10 for effort. Since I am of a generous nature.

Oh dear. I shouldn't have bothered.

Very funny; but deadly boring.

Pitifully poor.

Illiterate and unamusing. I have read better things in a fortune "cookie".

You guys are so mean. I wrote out these feelings and all you care about is the way it reads. But looking from the last 20 comments about all poems, everyone on this site is mean. I could go through everyone elses poems and call their thoughts and feelings badly written and sound smart and clever, but what about the persons feelings that you just hurt from saying things like that when they are trying to get things out there for the world to see and hoping someone will understand? You should all think before you mouth off.

Here you have writen an outline for the essence of a poem. It is not a poem, but good thoughts that you can make into a poem. Nice start.

funny that someone mentioned rap. i'd really like to hear how this fits a beat and groove. and if it doesn't, change it so it does. for example, "you can go ahead and sound the alarm" could be shortened to "go n' sound the alarm." just an example.

damn right! if i were you i'd rework the line breaks to emphasize more verbs. "abused" is buried in the middle of a line when it needed to be front and center. i think you captured here something we all sometimes wish we could do: pull all the politicians out of their chairs, shake them violently and talk some sense, dammit!

a homocidal arsonist poem? maybe you're just too far ahead of me, but i'm having trouble taking something meaningful from it. i know you have an endrhyme scheme that you feel you need to follow, but before it rhymes this has to bring something more evocative. don't tell about the anger. show it.