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CommentsComments 4401–4420 back. Include replies to comments

Sing4Jesus! on Musical Buttocks - Cha cha cha by Edna Sweetlove 4 Oct 2006, 4:28 PM
Witty but Christ will bugger you.
Sing4Jesus! on Street Preacher by Dovina 4 Oct 2006, 4:30 PM
God is quite a difficult guy to come to terms with. He's a bit of a bugger sometimes, but if he loves you he will save you and if not YOU GO TO HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sing4Jesus! on some deleted poem 4 Oct 2006, 4:31 PM
dreadful mate.
Sing4Jesus! on Steak and Satin by Dovina 4 Oct 2006, 4:31 PM
Quite interesting.
nentwined on Innocence revisited by Caducus 4 Oct 2006, 5:42 PM
"A body yard from virginal" makes me think there has to either be a typo somewhere, or a missing word--I get some gist of it from context, but well, lots of different some gists. very interesting, though. I really like the second stanza, and just want the first to cohere a little more for me.
nentwined on The toilet by The Eskimo King 4 Oct 2006, 5:43 PM
which he, who? eh.
nentwined on The Fox by cleverdevice 4 Oct 2006, 5:44 PM
cute. is it true, about foxes? The flow felt off here and there throughout, but it's cute anyway.
nentwined on Longing by deadstar 4 Oct 2006, 5:45 PM
second line really trips me up in flow; within each vein seems really odd--perhaps every? each makes me think you've only got two, for some reason. awkward and droll, overall.
nentwined on suicide lost the plot by T'ien 4 Oct 2006, 5:46 PM
the rhymes feel too forced, cheapening anything you might want us to take seriously. flow feels off in a number of places as well.
nentwined on Bloody Sonner by The Eskimo King 4 Oct 2006, 5:47 PM
too rough in flow for me.
nentwined on Pressing Matters in the White House by cleverdevice 4 Oct 2006, 5:48 PM
cutesy, but the ragged rhythm/jumps drive me crazy
nentwined on Morning on Galapados by Mikius 4 Oct 2006, 5:49 PM
it feels like you're using the same words, repetition, in a way that's not building but cheapening. I think you have a nice solid image, but it's portrayed in a step-forward, step-backward manner in awkward chunks--for me.
nentwined on Grab Out For J. Christ! by Sing4Jesus! 4 Oct 2006, 5:50 PM
wow.
nentwined on Innocence lost by deadstar 4 Oct 2006, 5:50 PM
ow.
nentwined on Retreived by T'ien 4 Oct 2006, 5:51 PM
death to love!
nentwined on Octubre 1992 by The Eskimo King 4 Oct 2006, 5:53 PM
no habla. :/ Babelfish gives me: ""Heart Rests" Duer to me heart becomes cloudy the sky the storm will make more fort rain the reason will take care of your dream so that the doubt does not do damage to you. It rests in the bed of the illusion dressed in savannahs of the hope pillows of pleasing memories and by blanket your anxieties. It dreams about the shining sun the serenity of that sea in calm the fresh breeze of the dusk and the romantic Full Moon. Fleet in the apparent dark of one night without stars that your beats plot the course towards those sublime and beside the point beautiful things." To which I say... hmm. Some pretty words? I'm an ignorant American.
nentwined on School. by cleverdevice 4 Oct 2006, 5:54 PM
eh.
nentwined on The Gunfighter by deadstar 4 Oct 2006, 5:55 PM
eh
nentwined on Ode to the unwanted chip by deadstar 4 Oct 2006, 5:56 PM
funny.
nentwined on Shark by cleverdevice 4 Oct 2006, 5:57 PM
I think you should split "My body rises and dives / UP DOWN UP DOWN UP DOWN" into "My body rises / UP UP UP / and dives / DOWN DOWN DOWN" I actually ... this is funny, and not annoying.