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Street Preacher (Free verse) by Dovina
He shouts like the others, ignores the same sneers. I reject him at first, then stop and turn back with a taste in my head of new wine and salt: “This evil you see all around you,” he says— “dead babies, cancer, and such— God planted its seed at the start, then let it continue in spite of Himself, as if blind, with scant little action to stop it. “To make matters worse, when I throw up a ‘Why?’ He seldom obliges an answer at all. “So point up a finger if it makes you upset. He’s up there alright, and joins your disgust. “But rather than end it, He took it one day, took evil upon Him, a cross and a grave, said, ‘Trust Me and you can conquer it too.’ “Complain if you want, but remember too that whatever evil you do, that too has been nailed, forgiven, and lost.” It was dark as I left him, not light as before, but a lingering taste as of supper and wine.

Up the ladder: The circle of life
Down the ladder: Nonsense POEM #14687

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Arithmetic Mean: 3.142857
Weighted score: 4.5005374
Overall Rank: 12805
Posted: October 2, 2006 11:25 AM PDT; Last modified: October 4, 2006 9:20 AM PDT
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Comments:
[n/a] Ranger @ 62.252.32.15 | 2-Oct-06/1:37 PM | Reply
It felt like prose up until stanza 5, then it morphed into rap, and the last stanza was different again. I don't really know what else to think of this, it didn't do much for me I'm afraid.
[n/a] Dovina @ 70.38.78.229 > Ranger | 2-Oct-06/1:44 PM | Reply
Maybe it's the kind of thing that requires a certain kind of reader's upbringing to appreciate.
[n/a] Ranger @ 62.252.32.15 > Dovina | 2-Oct-06/1:52 PM | Reply
Probably. I rarely come into contact with the street preachers. We occasionally have some Zionists in town, and there used to be a Muslim bloke who'd stand on one of the benches and yell at us. Problem was, nobody could figure out a damn word he was saying. I've become pretty adept at avoiding hustlers in the street though; a necessary precaution as there are always people trying to sign me up to the various charities. I don't have any money, why don't they understand?
[n/a] Dovina @ 70.38.78.229 > Ranger | 2-Oct-06/1:58 PM | Reply
You must look like someone with money.

The appealing thing about this street preacher is that he does not look like all the others. He has a unique and honest-sounding take on the Gospel. Maybe the same kind of take Jesus had.
[n/a] Ranger @ 62.252.32.15 > Dovina | 2-Oct-06/2:08 PM | Reply
I look like a half-starved urchin in dire need of a haircut - or, failing that, a flamethrower. They only prey on me because nobody in a suit is going to give them anything.

I hope this gospel is not one of the ones written after Jesus' death, otherwise his take on it may be tricky to know. Haven't we had the God-evil discussion before? I know I've talked with ALChemy and Amanda about it at some point.
[n/a] Dovina @ 70.38.78.229 > Ranger | 2-Oct-06/2:16 PM | Reply
Yes, it's a recurring discussion, probably because we humans cannot seem to to get it into our heads that any good God lets crap happen. This street preacher doesn't understand it either, but he has an appealing solution. And yes, his solution comes from gospels written after Jesus' death.
[8] deleted user @ 67.161.32.10 > Dovina | 2-Oct-06/8:34 PM | Reply
If we could figure it ALL by ourselves ,Hope would lose its meaning !
[n/a] Dovina @ 70.38.78.229 > deleted user | 3-Oct-06/7:47 AM | Reply
Yes, if we could figure it all out, we would be like God. Of course, some people already have, and they have the greater faith. The rest of us rely on hope. Welcome to Poemranker.
[8] deleted user @ 171.69.120.101 > Dovina | 3-Oct-06/10:14 AM | Reply
Thanks Dovina !
[2] nentwined @ 68.232.253.122 > Dovina | 4-Oct-06/6:10 PM | Reply
p'raps. I'm agreeing with Ranger--this feels cheap and confused. Not to put words in Ranger's mouth ;)
[8] nypoet22 @ 65.2.216.112 | 3-Oct-06/7:38 PM | Reply
the heart of this poem is clever and insightful, but i think it needs a lot of work around the edges. the beginning and end read like what someone might teach in a creative writing class, while the middle, even though you're quoting someone else through most of it, feels by its cadence and arrangement like it truly contains your own voice.

the last stanza to me seems unnecessary, trying to spell out details of an emotion that could easily be implied simply by reversing the order of "nailed and forgiven." likewise the first stanza weakens the poem, makes it prosaic by introducing the subject in a story format rather than just jumping right in and adding any necessary details of the setting within the body of the text.
[n/a] Dovina @ 70.38.78.229 > nypoet22 | 3-Oct-06/7:50 PM | Reply
yeah, I think it needs another look. Thanks.
[3] Sing4Jesus! @ 85.210.199.173 | 4-Oct-06/4:30 PM | Reply
God is quite a difficult guy to come to terms with. He's a bit of a bugger sometimes, but if he loves you he will save you and if not YOU GO TO HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[7] Shuushin @ 65.175.179.197 | 4-Oct-06/6:57 PM | Reply
yep, I hate when I throw up words, especially "why"

let the words do a little of the work - there are too many here, methinks.
[n/a] Dovina @ 12.72.43.40 > Shuushin | 5-Oct-06/7:28 AM | Reply
Welcome back. Hey, I won't dream of throwing up a "why."
[2] Edna Sweetlove @ 85.210.246.217 | 7-Oct-06/9:10 AM | Reply
boring.
[0] Engelbert Humpalot @ 127.0.0.1 | 31-Dec-20/11:24 AM | Reply
Dreary piffle. I could shit a better poem.
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