drnick
on Prologue by Dovina
23 Oct 2006, 2:58 PM
Hahaha, nice.
Unsubtle to say the least.
Inspiring with its complexity.
This is a suicide note, right?
Excellent. Might want a comma between letter and fencing in line 2.
The pope is an evil old man and is probably satan-spawn. So mocking him is good in my book!
I understand this is a meditation on how money can buy things that take up more room than the money itself. The language is a bit prosaic. That is my only criticism.
interesting. i'm not sure this stands on its own, but the end of a series... sure, why not.
not strictly haiku, but an interesting series of images nonetheless. the majority of these verses are closer to senryu (5-7-5 syllabic verse about people) than haiku (5-7-5 syllabic verse about nature). if these all really constitute one overall poem however, i would try to make your theme clearer, because i'm not seeing connection between the montage of images.
What is an MRS degree? I think we should be told.
I've heard it called a Kentucky Falls before; you guys must have some weird water features.
Neat idea
I wish you would enter discussion on whether these Jesus poems are satire or if you really like this stuff. If you mean it, then you've progressed about an inch backward from the Crusades.
It could be the end of a great collective work, of which mine is the Prologue, and the middle is all of Poemranker.
I like it. It reads well. The one thing I would do: change 'devastation' to 'devastated' or something else entirely.
It is an unbreakable and universal law of poetry that you must always rhyme 'pie-man' with 'Simon', if you are to rhyme 'pie-man' at all.
I do believe that this is about Jade Goody's wedding day...
Very amusing. I assume you are a Zionist. Jesus was killed by you lot.