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The parameters of speech. (Free verse) by leon lyman Within
a sorted letter fencing spins
a whirlwind from the lungs -
bit into by two rows of teeth,
suck stuck between two lips, a sheath
for moisturised Berettas cocking
cartridges on tongues.
Drool that only ever drips,
a sick dog off its muzzle,
Each sentence is a clue and
every paragraph a puzzle.
Down the ladder:
Now you're inside my heart
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 4.5
Posted: October 23, 2006 11:01 PM PDT; Last modified: October 24, 2006 2:47 AM PDTWeighted score: 4.976287 Overall Rank: 8248 Comments:
[9]
Ranger @ 62.252.32.15
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24-Oct-06/3:44 AM
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Reply
Excellent. Might want a comma between letter and fencing in line 2.
[n/a]
leon lyman @ 210.84.45.132
> Ranger
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24-Oct-06/4:33 AM
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Reply
Cheers. I was trying to figure out how to make the first stanza work.
[n/a]
leon lyman @ 210.84.45.132
> leon lyman
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24-Oct-06/4:35 AM
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Reply
punctuation wise...
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