it's really a good example for new structure poetry

I sense some contempt. Fantastic writing. 10.

Way too non-directional and unclear. I think you need definite statements, not wishy-washy expressions.

Oh snoggo... such an emotional moron. C'mon now, getting paid to shag monroe ain't bad.

Ok, it's a good story and a bit funny, but it lacks poetry, which is not bad, just not poetic. Fewer words, clever words, unusual combinations of words, imbic words -- yep, then it's poetry

No deaths is good. Try adding an extra syllable in l5 and two more l8 (maybe after "No deaths"); trust me it will flow better. Also the "the" in l8 is superfluous.

I like this up to the last stanza. There, the angst about Jesus seems another subject, detracting from the unique way this picture was painted or drawn.

The first two verses are great. I lost you in “My boxed instrument burned,” (think you could omit it) but the rest of Verse 3 is good, and the last line is great.

Would be nicer to hold the beginning rhythm, instead of drifting off into prose. Lines 9-12 might read: Pulled along by hopes & dreams Deceived by things that only seem When all I wanted from all this Is your eyes, soft lips and kiss

Creative and entertaining. Excellent work.

the randomness with which you decided to make your "I"'s upper or lower case is disconcerting at best, and more irritating than anything else.

The last 5 lines are good, and I mean that they say something important. However, they are not very poetic. You could write an essay, or you could work on structure and compelling language.

Wow, you write a lot of poems! Are you trying to surpass me in poems posted? Lots of luck there, fella. My fear, however, is that you could be younger, and could win fifty years from now. All right, here’s the bitter ode from a woman’s tongue: You comment too little! Your comments are fewer than comments received, and this is not only bad etiquette, it’s contrary to the ode “It is more blessed to give than to receive.” So, get into the process – dialog, debate, comment. You’ll become a better poet. As for this poem, it’s pretty good. One of you better posts.

Well, I will say that you do not comment enough. If you want to keep posting these true-to-your-name "void" poems, then go ahead. But when you post without commenting on the other poems, I have to think you are selfish, that you want only to receive, with no inclination to reciprocate. That is truly void.

No period after "closed." Comma after "fire." Heck with it, all punctuation can go. "Like is done in the dumps" -> "as in the dumps" or somesuch.

I find it more funny than dark.

The usual sequence is spring then summer, so I began intrigued by the switch. But then you mention autumn in its traditional old-age meaning, and winter coming, which totally confuses me, because I thought you would say something besides the worn-out aging/seasons thing. "Longing for the next" could be made into a "spring" metaphor, but I find only "eyes cast downward." Clarity seems lost here.

I was sleeping and being comforted By a cool breeze, when suddenly a grey dove From a thicket sang and sobbed with longing And reminded me of my own passion I had been away from my own soul so long So late-sleeping .but that’s dove’s crying Woke me and made me cry, praise To all early-walking believer

That was great ...soon i will share one of my experiences... I had faced a homeless better to say he was placeless in this world. They live where this world lost so long... So late-meeting but I'm feeling in this way... Their actions ask how do whys become void? The void makes them homeless in the hopeless shape... the shapes of their hearts make all differences

Yep, misogyny is hilarious, isn't it?