poemranker ::Cloche. by howl

DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

Free verse № 148314

Cloche.

Member since 2006 · Posted 10 Dec 2006 · Edited 23 Dec 2006 · 4 comments

The subway; a cloche to beggars late evening, not one lit fire like seen in the dumps. The bell of an unattended tram peals, a boy pulling the rope to hear its reaction. The policeman points, his torch beam picking up little, he is happy. Later the beat girl hands out bread to the rattling voices of old men.

Rate it

0 is the worst, 10 the best. Pick a number, add a comment if you like, then send it. Keys: 0–9 pick, Enter sends.

mean 4.25 weighted 4.91 rank 9613 views 187 View voting details →

4 votes so far. Yours would make 5.4 votes so far

4 comments

[9] Ranger 10-Dec-06/10:28 AM Reply
This is very good indeed. A couple too many instances of 'the' for my taste.

A subway, a tram and a policeman with a torch? Where are you?
[7] Dovina 10-Dec-06/5:11 PM Reply
No period after "closed." Comma after "fire." Heck with it, all punctuation can go. "Like is done in the dumps" -> "as in the dumps" or somesuch.
[7] Prince of Void 31-Dec-06/8:48 AM Reply
keep going on ..it's very cinematic
[9] deleted user 7-Jan-07/3:24 AM Reply
This is good--I really like the last stanza.