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The blankness of his life (Free verse) by Nicholas Jones
the blankness of his life leads him to seek out experiences that are more – what? extreme? ludicrous? challenging? – We laugh – he doesn’t even know! Not even that. He is trying – or he thinks he is trying – to do something wonderful. Or at least, unusual. Or, with luck, just better than despair. But though the street is wet and the rain at a shallow angle and the wind thinks about destroying the city – conditions have deteriorated badly and he is not prepared for them – he has not found it. Because the winter is not cold enough. He seeks this thing, this extremity, that he doesn’t know, but the winter is too warm for him. He hasn’t discovered this. He does not know and he cannot imagine. And so the blankness of his life remains unaffected by the interesting? the bizarre? the confused? the remarkable? the absence of life?

Up the ladder: her treasure
Down the ladder: Friendship thrown away

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Arithmetic Mean: 5.8333335
Weighted score: 5.2241178
Overall Rank: 4314
Posted: December 10, 2006 4:50 AM PST; Last modified: December 10, 2006 4:50 AM PST
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Ranger

Comments:
[9] Ranger @ 62.252.32.15 | 10-Dec-06/10:29 AM | Reply
This simply has to be favourited.

Don't think you need the 'what?' at the start of line three. Other than that, wonderful. Can you please write something happy though?
[n/a] Nicholas Jones @ 81.154.134.97 > Ranger | 10-Dec-06/11:22 AM | Reply
Once again, thank you. I'm afraid I'm not really very good at happy (in poetry or reality), but I may give it a go. But it may have to be happiness mixed in the melancholy knowledge that happiness is transient.
[7] Prince of Void @ 213.207.253.9 > Nicholas Jones | 27-Dec-06/9:49 AM | Reply
you are right that point that happiness is transient
[9] deleted user @ 64.140.227.60 | 10-Dec-06/2:45 PM | Reply
Pleasingly dark.
[8] Dovina @ 208.127.72.90 | 10-Dec-06/5:13 PM | Reply
I find it more funny than dark.
[2] nentwined @ 76.167.62.172 | 15-Feb-07/5:55 PM | Reply
Is it the extremities or intremities you're seeking with this poem? ((hey, you complained you hadn't gotten insults, right?))

The blankness of his masturbation--fine, but why record it?

Though I do sympathise with the feeling (am I leaving myself too open, here?) - this poem does not epitomize them in any good way.

The second stanza's better than the first, but still uninteresting. Tell me something in a novel way (and I don't mean prose, and I don't mean rot13...) slip me the suggestion, the meaning, without my realising what you've said until I'm looking at the blade in my heart.
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