Re: Where are all the poets? by nentwined	impert&ent 127.0.0.1	11-Nov-20/7:04 PM
Likewise, this is a beauty. A cadence, a repetition, with or without rhyme. Good timing!
Re: I'll start by nentwined	impert&ent 127.0.0.1	15-Nov-20/10:40 AM
Crank up the old motor
Re: Lovesick by impert&ent	Dovina 0:0:0:0:0:0:0:1	19-Nov-20/11:48 AM
I know something of. But not all of. It's why I never criticize you.
Re: Where are all the poets? by nentwined	Dovina 127.0.0.1	19-Nov-20/11:57 AM
Where have all the flowers gone, long time passing? They have not gone, for they cannot escape. They are somewhere, but not here. Come back, you poets. Comprised of glyphs with radiance, Come get your kudos.
Re: I'll start by nentwined	Dovina 0:0:0:0:0:0:0:1	19-Nov-20/11:59 AM
grasping at what might become some future might have been— great lines of hope and practical too.
Re: I'll start by nentwined	Dovina 127.0.0.1	19-Nov-20/12:01 PM
adding comments always goes to the error box. Please fix this.
Re: Due by impert&ent	Dovina 0:0:0:0:0:0:0:1	19-Nov-20/12:03 PM
I find the form confusing.
Re: Lovesick by impert&ent	impert&ent 127.0.0.1	20-Nov-20/2:40 PM
She's an icthyologist. With a flick of the tale, she's off. Fin
Re: Days of Silence (1-196) by impert&ent	impert&ent 0:0:0:0:0:0:0:1	25-Nov-20/3:26 PM
This is my audience. I'm not sure there's ever been another. I have looked. And wished. So the silence tells a story.
Re: Sea Foam by groogirl	nentwined 0:0:0:0:0:0:0:1	2-Dec-20/2:34 PM
Are you the sea foam? Can that be merged with the jester? I don't feel the mixing of metaphors as they stand, but maybe that could be embraced more somehow?
Re: for John by pete	nentwined 0:0:0:0:0:0:0:1	3-Dec-20/3:34 PM
I kind of want to hear this out loud, ranted on stage, maybe with some jazz behind it. I don't know how well it holds up for me for re-reading, I don't feel like it "wraps up" for me? but maybe it doesn't need to. I really want it to wrap up more, though.
Re: Sunrise at McDonalds by Dovina	nentwined 127.0.0.1	4-Dec-20/4:13 PM
Feels a little clipped to me in places (first two lines set a cadence for me that I then trip on line three). I like the second view, definitely think it adds something. Though perhaps it would be less on the nose using the word "palm"?
Re: Nadine by nentwined	Dovina 127.0.0.1	16-Dec-20/2:50 PM
She must be or have been a fierce woman, a crashing wave. Remembered and folded, now written about. Or I could be completely wrong. Just a first impression
Re: Nadine by nentwined	Dovina 127.0.0.1	16-Dec-20/5:51 PM
A poetry workshop this evening allows bringing an outside poem bringing yours, I requested comments giving no personal info on you, and none of our discussion. They thought the first verse joins the title somehow. they say it describes Nadine, that she or it, is a bit wild. Something happened, they say, before the third verse something that lasts forever, and is always remembered so the apparent redundancy of the two words is not. The last verse, they said, reinforces importance of the memory. they like this verse best. The "quantum" verse was not well understood nor do I fully get it. but memory is like that, takes metaphoric form sometimes a life remembered as a rainbow something in quantum space
Re: Angelic Fornication by The_Third_Isis	Jill Stockinger 0:0:0:0:0:0:0:1	21-Dec-20/6:22 PM
This moved me. I felt the pain.
Re: Deja Vu by Jeremi B. Handrinos	Jill Stockinger 127.0.0.1	21-Dec-20/6:26 PM
Loved some of your lines: especially "sky will keep, and the sea, it sleeps; "thoughts I thumbnailed to cork board" and "giant redwoods, so old/committed to reach, and be firm" Felt some of it (especially beginning) did not mesh with the rest, which was like a progressive story of a life. Might be better to start with second stanza, greater impact that way. Possibly?! Like your ending.
Re: Beached (Or how I learned to give up the day) by Jeremi B. Handrinos	Jill Stockinger 127.0.0.1	21-Dec-20/6:30 PM
LOVED the line: "The sun had just yoked"- original and excellent! Some seemed a little lackluster: the lines"whales were sick too" and a little trite: "I saw no foot-steps home"--The first two stanzas are fresh and hardhitting. Rest of poem did not match that power.
Re: The Pig Roast by Jeremi B. Handrinos	Jill Stockinger 127.0.0.1	21-Dec-20/6:32 PM
Intense. Moving. Powerful description, strong ending.
Re: From Then Till Now by Jeremi B. Handrinos	Jill Stockinger 127.0.0.1	21-Dec-20/6:35 PM
Liked it! Sadly, relate to it...
Re: appropriation by nentwined	Jill Stockinger 0:0:0:0:0:0:0:1	21-Dec-20/6:40 PM
lovely!