Re: Divorcing Tennessee by Dovina |
Jill Stockinger 127.0.0.1 |
21-Dec-20/6:41 PM |
well written, great imagery
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Re: The Song I Miss by Miggy |
Jill Stockinger 127.0.0.1 |
21-Dec-20/6:44 PM |
One line sticks out as not fitting the song, I think:
disliked "Yet since this rotted bad"--Liked all the rest!
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Re: Weened by Jeremi B. Handrinos |
Jill Stockinger 0:0:0:0:0:0:0:1 |
22-Dec-20/4:32 PM |
Some good lines, a TON of anger...
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Re: Devilution by Jeremi B. Handrinos |
Jill Stockinger 0:0:0:0:0:0:0:1 |
22-Dec-20/4:33 PM |
Cutesy. Villanelles are not easy...
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Re: Beah Richards by Jeremi B. Handrinos |
Jill Stockinger 0:0:0:0:0:0:0:1 |
22-Dec-20/4:34 PM |
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Re: Horror Film by Jeremi B. Handrinos |
Jill Stockinger 0:0:0:0:0:0:0:1 |
22-Dec-20/4:35 PM |
Well written, sadness staining every line...
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Re: Prepropositioned pudding by Jeremi B. Handrinos |
Jill Stockinger 127.0.0.1 |
22-Dec-20/4:35 PM |
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Re: A FERAL PHASE FOR THE POET by daggatolar |
Jill Stockinger 0:0:0:0:0:0:0:1 |
22-Dec-20/4:39 PM |
The word I think is perpetuity, not perpetuality-- if trying to coin a new word, unnecessary, annoying-
some good lines-
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Re: Rock of the Earth by ingwa |
Jill Stockinger 0:0:0:0:0:0:0:1 |
22-Dec-20/4:46 PM |
Some good lines, I like the idea captured.
No comma after "Hunts gone by" I think-
some clunky lines: "experiences, good and bad"-
some very good lines: "sing to my soul of ages gone by" and "Ageless you stand, tall and proud/ Lichen grows upon your surfaces"; uneven rhyme scheme does not help (1st and 4th lines in first stanza, 3rd and 4th lines in 3rd stanza, no rhyme in last stanza.
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Re: Rock of the Earth by ingwa |
Jill Stockinger 127.0.0.1 |
22-Dec-20/4:46 PM |
Some good lines, I like the idea captured.
No comma after "Hunts gone by" I think-
some clunky lines: "experiences, good and bad"-
some very good lines: "sing to my soul of ages gone by" and "Ageless you stand, tall and proud/ Lichen grows upon your surfaces"; uneven rhyme scheme does not help (1st and 4th lines in first stanza, 3rd and 4th lines in 3rd stanza, no rhyme in last stanza.
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Re: Ghost by Jeremi B. Handrinos |
Jill Stockinger 127.0.0.1 |
22-Dec-20/4:50 PM |
Some beautiful lines, good ending, like how you carry the idea throughout the poem, the speaker believing the person who killed herself is so much better than he is, right to a very bitter end.....
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Re: Days of Silence (197-392) by impert&ent |
Jill Stockinger 127.0.0.1 |
22-Dec-20/4:58 PM |
Reads like headlines but it gripped me all the way through. Love how "Tom" lines and "Mary" are interspersed here and there. You would not think such a poem would work but I think it does! Enjoyed this! Remembered reading some of these...it engaged my thought, had some humor, did make me think! Enjoyable.
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Re: A "sirius"makeover by The_Third_Isis |
Jill Stockinger 0:0:0:0:0:0:0:1 |
22-Dec-20/5:00 PM |
Annoyed by so many misspellings. If they were deliberate, they were not useful. Some interesting ideas, imagery
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Re: There was . . . by baphomet |
Jill Stockinger 0:0:0:0:0:0:0:1 |
22-Dec-20/5:05 PM |
(stampede of cattle, not stamped of cattle)
Cannot conceive of how a wave "suede"s- swayed? What?
Oversized- one word- aftertaste, one word. Do your proofreading before submitting. " a cornucopia" not an cornucopia. "What we'll do tomorrow? Not "What will do". Too many errors detracted from enjoying the poem.
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Re: Arm 'n' headin (Mr.Mexicacco) by suprembeaner |
Jill Stockinger 0:0:0:0:0:0:0:1 |
22-Dec-20/5:06 PM |
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Re: The benefit of being realistic by Jeremi B. Handrinos |
Jill Stockinger 0:0:0:0:0:0:0:1 |
22-Dec-20/5:07 PM |
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Re: Sold by Jeremi B. Handrinos |
Jill Stockinger 0:0:0:0:0:0:0:1 |
22-Dec-20/5:08 PM |
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Re: you turned me evil by baphomet |
Jill Stockinger 0:0:0:0:0:0:0:1 |
22-Dec-20/5:09 PM |
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Re: Queen Of The Ring by baphomet |
Jill Stockinger 127.0.0.1 |
22-Dec-20/5:25 PM |
Annoying you are using Hsiwej = Jewish backwards
Also, so many spelling errors get annoying to read
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Re: Why You All Suck by ?-Dave_Mysterious-? |
Jill Stockinger 0:0:0:0:0:0:0:1 |
22-Dec-20/5:57 PM |
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