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Nadine (Free verse) by nentwined The wave crashes
laughing
Fiercely loving
The rocky shore.
A quantum rainbow
iridescent
Always forever
just that moment
Folded back into
the dark.
Up the ladder:
bitrot
Down the ladder:
Nameless Stranger (a rensaku)
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 8.333333
Posted: December 16, 2020 10:51 AM PST; Last modified: December 16, 2020 10:51 AM PSTWeighted score: 5.397343 Overall Rank: 3192 Comments:
[8]
Dovina @ 127.0.0.1
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16-Dec-20/2:50 PM
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Reply
She must be or have been a fierce woman, a crashing wave. Remembered and folded, now written about. Or I could be completely wrong. Just a first impression
[n/a]
nentwined @ 127.0.0.1
> Dovina
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16-Dec-20/3:01 PM
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Reply
Not wrong at all, gone too soon.
A poetry workshop this evening
allows bringing an outside poem bringing yours, I requested comments giving no personal info on you, and none of our discussion. They thought the first verse joins the title somehow. they say it describes Nadine, that she or it, is a bit wild. Something happened, they say, before the third verse something that lasts forever, and is always remembered so the apparent redundancy of the two words is not. The last verse, they said, reinforces importance of the memory. they like this verse best. The "quantum" verse was not well understood nor do I fully get it. but memory is like that, takes metaphoric form sometimes a life remembered as a rainbow something in quantum space
This reminds me when my midget wife Conny (she of the one arm but no legs) got washed out to sea but unfortunately floated back.
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