I read this with pain. 8.

Cheers you guys its nice to have people on my side for once ("sniff") but i will now have to eat you all!

Needs more line breaks, and needs more explanation about what's going on.

Like the fact that there is no capitalization. However, I think that if you are not going to have any of that then you should also leave out punctuation. Just my opinion though.

Just testing to see if a message by me is sent to me.

schlock!

Like the main idea of this poem. Some of the lines do not flow well enough with the rest.

Interesting.

Each stanza needs to have more of a flow to the next.

Wow.

I know one

cute. :)

I'm curious as to whether the gun is to be used against or in defense of the child, or something else entirely.

A hero you shall be on the little yellow bus indeed.

gre8t

duh

I can't quite tell if this is telling someone off and expecting a continued relationship or it is a very long good-bye, don't let the door slam too hard on your backside as you get going kind of thing. It is certainly nicely said... both in execution and choice of language. A gentle farewell? A polite go to hell? Or knowing my abilty to miss the point, neither or both. Have a 10.

"The sawed-off between his fesses." is interesting - is the implication he was shot in the chest? Never seen fesses used like that - works for me, though.

knives 'drove' -> 'driven'? relatively interesting piece for an 'angst' poem. couldn't quite get into the flow.

nice juxtaposition.