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Battered moon (Free verse) by revy13
Ooze of magma singes my body, for all the energies used reminds me of your insecurities. My body hurts being stoned by the fist of your emotions, I cannot get up. Hurricanes of violence flow from your soft, pink pale lips slapping me in my face so hard that I cannot flicker my eyes to face the demon which hides in your flesh and my head hurts, yearning for you to stop..PLEASE STOP!!! Please, I promise to be a good boy! (sighing) the flood of unformed waste of emotions flow from my eyes and out through the crimson red of blood out of my body. My body cannot feel no more. For no matter what Roger, I will always love you even when I feel your arms around me and your tone has changed, your physical energies overcome the chaos it has wrought, and the angelic form has come to bless you and ask for Forgivenss, I am not a pigskin stuffed bag; ready to punch and kick whenever you are angry, for after the medicineman has chanted his last healing dance, after his last... many moons ago

Up the ladder: This is for you
Down the ladder: Writer's Block

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Arithmetic Mean: 5.3333335
Weighted score: 5.0397344
Overall Rank: 7051
Posted: October 1, 2003 9:03 AM PDT; Last modified: October 2, 2003 9:40 AM PDT
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Comments:
[n/a] deleted user @ 63.228.147.122 | 1-Oct-03/9:47 AM | Reply
The imagery is outstanding. I love the closure...sweet!
[n/a] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 | 2-Oct-03/10:49 AM | Reply
hmmm. how does one actually figure out whether or not the moon has been battered? Doust it cry. Doust it shimmy? Perhaps... it sends you an e-mail saying "help me I'm a battered in the pants of some highschooler on a bus staring at you right now with a brown eye!"?. That's it battered moons don't have black I's they have brown I's. lol. between me and you? your title is fucking seriously pathetic on a huge scale. An avalanche, if you will, of retardation. Kitsch to the max!
[n/a] revy13 @ 63.195.65.244 > horus8 | 2-Oct-03/11:48 AM | Reply
obviously you have more time on your hands to wonder what the title of poem means. I appreciate the comments, like I said I am nothing without an audience, whether its good or bad. So if you are all about the "festering wound", you might want to get that checked out.
[n/a] J.B. Manning @ 129.44.35.24 > revy13 | 2-Oct-03/1:18 PM | Reply
Revy, you'll quickly find that there are far too many elderly tards on this site with many a pompous point of worthless view. With an aptitude for virtual bullying where they otherwise fail in the real world. Don't mind them; they are but pimples on a limp dick.
[n/a] Artemis745 @ 152.163.252.72 | 11-Oct-03/3:06 PM | Reply
Like the main idea of this poem. Some of the lines do not flow well enough with the rest.
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