u will never be DA forgiven:o)

cud have done better i feel.

Honestly, this doesn't come across as a poem, to me. Not that common ground is, it readsmore like a novel. I did enjoy the read and how organized it is. My beef: The mirroring boner. Seems out of place. Or I missed the whole point entirely? still, quite tall.

goodbye mother...

awfully close to perfect.

You know where the problems lie, In the poem. I feel for you bro. I really do.

i see a bitter man, as i read between these lines:o( - but i liked it

OK - Ok - k.... I got the picture bub..Thank you very much

the feeling is there:o)

u a rapper man:o)

yea that all sound kinda right:o)

:o)

a good start to something - if you want it to stand alone, you'll likely need to hack away a good bit of it. I feel like a salesman for the cinquain corporation. I'm having some trouble mentally unparsing balls and swallow though - and "dialate", having witnessed the birth of four children, doesn't help my attempts. -7-

I don't understand a few parts of it, but I like how flows and how it comes together at the end. -8-

sorry to break up the little family dinner table chat, but I think this is where the real talent lies. sure, the spelling is comical, but with the included excuse it adds to the thing ("never reveal the truth behind the misspelled meaning"). It wanders a bit though, as if to hear itself wandering - and that can be enjoyable to a certain extent - as long as the mental wanderings aren't an excuse for a lack of structure or meaning. -8- for the benefit of the doubt.

Excellent handle :O) The poem... "It keeps us human in our minds And whispers to us sweet reminds" is very nice "Then would I feel emotion true Or would emotions grow askew?" is a not so nice (*very*) difficult to pull off questions, especially in first person). As a lyric is flows along well enough with the usual disclaimers, but i think you might be better served to make the same observations from another perspective and make it a poem. -7-

This is desperate frustration pleasantly and simply delivered - I'm tempted to not like that it might be *too* simple - but it works. how in god's name did you put seven poems up? -8-

This damn thing won't let me do italics, so please imagine that "This is my rifle, / There are many like it but this one is mine..." and "This is my rifle, this is my gun. / This is for fighting, this is for fun." are both in italics. Thanx guys!

u better keep searching, cause me think this gold is mine:o)

it's a, ah - RONDINE. Named after a waitress in a New Jersey diner who was prone to rhyming her orders to the kitchen staff. Okay. I made that part up...