Help | About | Suggestions | Alms | Chat [0] | Users [0] | Log In | Join
 Search:
Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments   

thor an his hammer (Free verse) by baphomet
two can play a game off chess but one can put the game to rest. of course if you have a tobassco sauce bottle for a king, and a thimble for a queen. when i gaze and play my mind can not stay in the game. it wonders like a cloud and i choose not to let my rain down on uganda. or try to play on straps and daggers. but if only i could go back to my child hood and nail it shut with thors hammer. and never reveal the truth behind the misspelled meaning of this poem. crystals snow horses leaves and rain. i perfer the rain and the leaves. i could never live where theres a horse on my mintaurs back. or the parinoid notion off some one stealing the crystals. or the displacement of mother rucus devoted to shame and happieness. ive read the dead beneath my bed and do you know what they said? "no go bow on through of coo" i ponder and leave to a rock in the sea. not by choice but by desision not be you or her but by me to see what lies and tells the truth i will come back to further my education. but only when your riding the hores.

Up the ladder: Turbulence
Down the ladder: B r o t h e r

You must be logged in to leave comments. Vote:

Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 21
.. 00
.. 11
.. 00
.. 10
.. 00
.. 01
.. 00
.. 10
.. 00
.. 10

Arithmetic Mean: 6.4444447
Weighted score: 5.7222223
Overall Rank: 1893
Posted: November 19, 2003 11:46 AM PST; Last modified: November 19, 2003 11:46 AM PST
View voting details
Comments:
[10] horus8 @ 24.126.116.54 | 19-Nov-03/1:46 PM | Reply
I would take them to court and sue them both for a divorce. You know, that's a real option by the way. I have friends that have done it at your age. If you can prove that they are both incompitent, and have your worst interests in mind, and only their selfish shit lives in mind. you'll win. Because you've got a job with dave to support yourself here, plus me and Nadine, and Bills Giving you a free ride to Crossroads private bording school. The judge would let you live with me, and you could finish your education without having to be subject to your parents misery, addictive violent behaviour patterns, and extreme immaturity. Because, trust me when I say "their misery" young one, as far as I'm concerned? Has just begun. Everyone on this planet deserve an opportunity to have a normal stable education, and home life. to not be able to provide a child with even that? Is Criminal, and hell hath no equal to a child scorned.
[n/a] baphomet @ 204.126.64.254 > horus8 | 19-Nov-03/2:33 PM | Reply
because do to the fact of different changes and different birds on my window cill telling me different notions i think that i want to go back to hawaii.
1.i really miss my family.
2.some of my family members are about to pass off to a better place, but frankly i would like to see them before they do.
another reason i know that u will always be there and i can always find u.
u are strong and will live for many more years, but some of my other family wont.
i am grateful for every thing u hav done.
1.giving a job at daves for writing so i could earn a computer .
2. that u would always give my support and be proud of me when i would accomplish jobs.
3.i've learned all sorts of new things and skills on the computer and in life.
but i dont think i should grow up in a enviroment where every one wants a piece of me.
i know that u would protect me on every side but i also need protection from above and below.
even though that might not always be true most of the time theres a price for every thing.
i loved the stay and i will come back one day.
im grateful for the eye opener and the camera because im goning to be a photogropher for surfing and models in bikinis.lol
also i respect u and know that u would do the best for me.
any ways this poem was not about my mom nore my *cogh*daD even though he is an addict.and i dont want the proplems off an addict he is always some where other than by me so i know i would not see the addictive personality.
i dont enjoy seeing my family on speed=crystal horse=herion or snow=coke i dont care about the simple drugs as long as there no abused and not changing them.
i still hav hope for him lol
thank god mums stronger and still the iorn fist and the gently heart and healing hand.

im not going to live with my fassha im going to live in my house supervised by my aunt and family.
i dont care about all the glame an glits i love my mom even though she couldnt get me all those expensive toys but still she gave me the gift off travel.
im getting a stable education in hawaii and if bill wants me to get the best he can start a college fund.
i apperciate the love from all of u.
i'm thankful every one around me to show me the good the bad and the ugly.
"my mom has guided me to see this in my travcels" and and she loves both of us equally.
i dont feel scorned but if i have been it would have strengthen me.
the most powerful demi-god in the hawaiian belief is the worm.
well thank u for the feeling of always having a perch to go to in hollywood.
as r governator would say"i'll be back" and i will to model.
take a break from ur emac and come take a trip to hawaii.
oh im coming home to night see u then.
aloha
i gotta go the libary computer minutes is running out.
ciao la vella
mom loves u more then me so be nice she loves u so much she cries when ur not happy.
she misses her lion.

damn people never wanna hug a fish.
bye love u see u later.
latwes
[10] The_Third_Isis @ 24.126.116.54 | 19-Nov-03/10:12 PM | Reply
only THOR can lift hes hammer...so you little GOD you, hammer away, your brilliant poetry. You are AWESOME. Horses like apples and sugar cubes that will sidetrack them of your minitaur's? er.. back{ wink}
[8] Shuushin @ 147.154.235.53 | 20-Nov-03/8:01 AM | Reply
sorry to break up the little family dinner table chat, but I think this is where the real talent lies.

sure, the spelling is comical, but with the included excuse it adds to the thing

("never reveal the truth behind the misspelled
meaning").

It wanders a bit though, as if to hear itself wandering - and that can be enjoyable to a certain extent - as long as the mental wanderings aren't an excuse for a lack of structure or meaning.

-8- for the benefit of the doubt.
[n/a] baphomet @ 24.126.116.54 > Shuushin | 20-Nov-03/8:11 PM | Reply
well i appreciate your comment and ur vote.
i know that i mispelled words but i wanted to write freely and carlessly.
i wrote wat ever came to mind.
i was at my grandmothers house and i went down to the libary to use a computer.
there was no spell check and i didnt feel the need to go an edit anything i typed it in the last 5 minutes of libary comp time.
i pressed submit and let it go.
any ways thanks i hear ur a editor or something to do with a magazine.
so i respect ur comment.
[8] Shuushin @ 147.154.235.52 > baphomet | 21-Nov-03/5:59 AM | Reply
Roger that - but I think the misspellings somehow work here, no - no worries.

As to my publishing career - time will tell; I claim no special [mad skilz] or credentials for the value of my comments. Usually people feel something amiss then the crit is just an echo of that.

[cue music] My only desire is to honestly convey constructive crits whenever it's possible (though sometimes... they... [the voices]... force me...).
228 view(s)




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001