Lovely.. I love it. 10! oh wait, I forgot to give my blessing! oh well.

Very poetic!

What a masterpiece! You really handle things in mind for this! :-)

well, tintagile, this piece is the cherry of my day. A finely crafted poem that got me dreamin a lil easier. thanks. blessed with ten.

They new at youth- "knew"? you know, this piece would be perfect with linebreaks- it would, but I'm not one to fidget, its good either way. 10.

"my heart has been left broken into two" I would change into to in. Otherwise it's killer.

It's a bit all over the place. 8.

I also wanted to say that I enjoy your poetry and merry christmas by the way.

so beautifull, there is a guy that i love far away from me. It is hard... Tineke

ok, now if your going to write in self pity.. could you atleast TRY you know ATTEMPT to do it in an artistic and creative fashion or something?? This sounds like a fucking therapy session, or more like a public BOO-HOO-HOO classic cliche teenage "I'm lonely and unloved blah blah" Fuck.. get a journal. And your from belgium? This might be the stupidest joke ever concieved and carried out, really now. Whats next? The infamous internet suicide note?

yes I live in Belgium, so...?! get normal. If this is the way I feel... what about...

Short and sweet. I know there is no punctuation but the poem is still be "played" with. I may even add another verse or two. but i just made this one last night and thought hey why not put it up on poemrankers so people can destroy it

This is fantastic, you have a great deal of talent...

Jesus is watching over Pranker you know CLSwift if you can hear me.

Line 1: "I smell a strong smell of coffee" This is a stupid line. Of course you smell a SMELL of coffee. You can't smell anything other than a SMELL. So to say you smell a SMELL of coffee is like saying "I tasted a taste", or "I felt a feeling", or "I dreamt a dream". You should have written something like "A strong smell of coffee fills my heart with brownful lust" Line 2: "floating around the air in here" Again redundancy. If you can smell a smell of coffee, it's obvious that the smell is floating around in the air because smells can only be transmitted to the nose glands via a gaseous medium. You should have left this line out. Line 3: "I am craving for coffee" Sounds awkward. You should have said something like "Oh precious bean! Why do you tempt me so!?" ... Line 14: "I want the taste in my mouth" Do you, indeed? I want the taste in my ear. Line 21: "Why can't I crave for coffee?" I don't understand this line at all. I thought the whole point in this poeme was that you DO crave for coffee. I can understand you craving coffee but, for whatever reason, being unable to drink it. But unable to crave it? That's just crazy talk. Overall: A good try! I'm sure you'll be an excellent poete in no time!!!!!1111

Not sure I understand where insinuation comes from. Other than that damn ace, especially the line breaks and continuity.

This is very expressive and I can relate on many levels. Keep it up! -10-

Stop, hey, what's that sound? Everybody look what's goin' down. Duke called that man a gay Some day soon he'll make him pay You betta stop, children, what's that sound? Everybody look what's goin' down. (From "For What It's Worth" by Buffalo Springfield)

This man does not exist. I checked my Big Book of Persons.

Si, please understand that LOVE is colorblind. And then some. I gave him tips on hair care, and he gave me a headache. I refuse to hide from the truth! And the truth is, lol... Yeah, I'm busted.