zodiac
on Where are you, Sally Jesse Rafiel? by GregDeEgg
10 Apr 2004, 6:34 AM
For misspelling Raphael: -7-
YEs, it is different but the grammatical errors to make it a little hard to read in places.
I kind of like this.....very....abstract?
Hit. That seriously summed up my wish before bed every night, for almost a year. Seriously, beautiful beyond imagination, but you might want to fix that typo (5th Line Last Stanza), other than that absolutly touching.
Good the of the Idea of comparing Teddy Bears, something comforting, to Men, without a doubt a odd territory. The execution is overly simplifed and a bit flailing to hold its self together but works out fairly well at the end. -8-
Who Do You Think Your Kidding? You Call This A Free Verse? Pimple, Its Called A Pimple, And ITS TERRIBLE! There is no depth, nothing more than whining, and trying to rhyme. Learn about the art, before you stumble thru another rhyme session with boo-woo your host Bandaid Butter Fingers! -0-
Masterful, Good Meter, and it made me Giggle
How very wise indeed, Thou Have shown us the way to our salvation, Praise be to Thee, oh Mighty Teacher -10-
Jesus, liar or lunatic... a very old very played out story. Jesus the ficticious product of a band of religious fanatics seeking to break away from classic Jewish tradition.....a theory posed by securalists more than 400 years ago. Nothing original here just the usual obsession with Our Lord and Savior by those who claim to be non-believers...interesting, very interesting.
hi horus8. pretty good one here. and one that i have not seen before, but contains a good dose of wisdom and a dash of bitterness. well done .
I really enjoyed this. Nice work. -10-
enigmatic, but fresh and a little dark.. . good poem though. wording is very fresh and appealing.
hahah, funny. Lingered toward the garage?? strange and, somewhat ineffectual word choice there. How does one linger toward something?
Hey, Shushin. Didn't mean to delete your comment. Thanks for the good input. I always seem to use too much to say too little. I'll work on it.
Please change "good" to "well," and "another's" to "your" if you wish to please me and let my words pour straight into you fears. Nice!
I can read this as a slur on Christianity, or I can read it as another man's story, who happens to be named Jesus, or I can read it as an embodyment of who Jesus was in a present-day man, which is the way I like to read it. Nice.
The last line is good. The rest is a play on rhymes, too many words for what it says.
More like a top-40 song than a poem
top 40 song or poem?
the big bang theory is a theory, however, i beleive it to be false