| Re: Rejuvenation by Dovina |
8-Sep-05/12:49 PM |
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I like the way this flows and the sounds of it, but it's just a little peppy for me (I'm in a state of disillusionment with the human race at the moment), sooooooooo....I don't know...thats just how I feel, and as many of the whipper snappers posting on this site will tell you, feelings are the only thing that matters.
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| Re: Beneath The Undertow by longships |
8-Sep-05/12:43 PM |
I don't think undertow is the word you're looking for here...I don't think one could be under the undertow..maybe try something else..I don't know what, just something else....wake maybe...
Otherwise, not too bad.
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| Re: a comment on The Scout by wilco |
8-Sep-05/12:38 PM |
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also, The Scout is not a person and virgin is used a little loosely here. Just meaning not completely and utterly fucked.
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| Re: a comment on The Scout by wilco |
8-Sep-05/12:37 PM |
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| Re: a comment on The Scout by wilco |
8-Sep-05/12:36 PM |
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| Re: a comment on modern death(Debuffeted) by Crakyamuni |
8-Sep-05/12:35 PM |
I think it did affect us all...and I'm hesitant to say, but I think its true....on a much larger scale than even 9/11.
This is a better edit, although I did notice that in the last line, you got simgs instead of sings. Also, I'd love a little punctuation (a little pet peeve of mine).
Incidentally, The Scout seemed to strike people funny...I don't think most people really put any thought into it, as most thought that the Scout in the poem was a person...it wasn't. It can probably be interpreted in several ways, but the basic premise is that we fucked up. Be it in the fact that New Orleans was built below sea level, the fact that the levees weren't made like they should've been, that people just went completely apeshit minutes after the hurricane was over or any other number of things....the whole thing is..we fucked up as people.
BTW, none of us know anything of poems...if we did, we would be published and doing this for a living instead of posting on the Ranker.
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| Re: Cat Poem by MacFrantic |
7-Sep-05/9:00 PM |
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Hmm, I hate cats too but I don't know if I'd go that far..still a good poem though.
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| Re: Stop stalking me, eventually by T. Jonathron Remp |
7-Sep-05/7:02 PM |
This is what Dr. Seuss would've written had he been mentally retarded.
Seriously...this is just horrible. You're capable of better, I know...
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| Re: modern death(Debuffeted) by Crakyamuni |
7-Sep-05/6:51 PM |
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I've seen you do better and I think you could probably make this quite a bit better if you gave it your full attention. However, not bad as is.
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| Re: ANALYZE THIS by drnick |
7-Sep-05/6:47 PM |
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| Re: a comment on The Scout by wilco |
3-Sep-05/8:30 AM |
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You are right about that....I'll have to think on it.
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| Re: a comment on The Scout by wilco |
3-Sep-05/8:26 AM |
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I don't really like to explain my writing too much but this is about New Orleans. Everything here has a particular meaning as to what I wanted to get across. Maybe it's not getting across....
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| Re: The fight by INTRANSIT |
2-Sep-05/9:01 PM |
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naughty...I'd change huge kitchen to large kitchen for better flow.
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| Re: a comment on Summer Song by wilco |
2-Sep-05/5:29 PM |
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Hmm, I guess you're right. With the music I put to it, I think it sounds more Death Cabish...probably because I've been listening to their new album...anyway, appreciate it.
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| Re: a comment on at home amongst the strangers by unknown^user |
2-Sep-05/5:27 PM |
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Also, I hope that your family is okay. We have a lot of the "refugees" here in Memphis and they tell some wild stories about Nawlins.
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| Re: at home amongst the strangers by unknown^user |
2-Sep-05/5:22 PM |
Good memories. I'm guessing you meant to leave out the capitalizations and normally that would annoy me, but for some reason I think it's okay here.
It's funny how watching this business in New Orleans on TV is almost like a movie. You can't believe it's really happening. Funny thing is that if it were a movie, you'd be sitting there, watching it and thinking, "this shit would never happen in a million years".
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| Re: How Angels Sleep by Dovina |
2-Sep-05/12:37 PM |
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Hey you've been doing well while I was away.
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| Re: The Absense of God by Bluemonkey |
2-Sep-05/11:55 AM |
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I feel you dog, but keep working on this one.
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| Re: Falling by D. $ Fontera |
2-Sep-05/11:51 AM |
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Wow, this is the first really good poem I've read on here in a while. Godd job..it's good.
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| Re: I've often been known to make people laugh by T. Jonathron Remp |
2-Sep-05/11:44 AM |
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I've been known to give people zeroes for crappy poems..I'm just gonna give this one a 5 though because it did actually make me chuckle a little.
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