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Beneath The Undertow (Free verse) by longships
From beneath the undertow, a boatman bids farewell, Mountains that ascend either side close in. His final journey across the dark still water, Affords knowledge of what is, and will be. From beneath the undertow, the flow of life abounds, Souls fulfilled in their surrender of living flesh. Colours of existence do not penetrate the surface, Are not seen by those of limited vision. From beneath the undertow, the world’s misdeeds unfold, Minds polluted with an urge for power and wealth. Short-sightedness is borne by the greed of millions, Sinking humanity further into a mire of self-destruction. From beneath the undertow, I stand bewildered, And affected by the poisons mankind feels worthy of. Difficult to change the direction in which we are cast, Redirect from all we are faced with, yet we must. From beneath the undertow, boiling in our wake, I see desolation within the future’s crystal. A barren waste spread far across the Earth, The demise of all we know and would have known. From beneath the undertow a tempest rages, Impelling all that lives towards extinction. Let us rise up and quell its onslaught, For our future, our children’s, our planet.

Up the ladder: mortality
Down the ladder: Nothing And Everything

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Arithmetic Mean: 5.5
Weighted score: 5.0596013
Overall Rank: 6754
Posted: September 7, 2005 11:06 PM PDT; Last modified: September 7, 2005 11:06 PM PDT
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Comments:
[7] zodiac @ 86.108.16.59 | 8-Sep-05/5:30 AM | Reply
Did the undertow tow him to somewhere beneath the undertow? How odd. How?
[8] Crakyamuni @ 131.252.231.75 | 8-Sep-05/11:00 AM | Reply
Whats with the boats, and water stuff? Television is taking over your minds. Mankinds number one poison, TV.
I'm affected, goddamn I'm affected.
[7] wilco @ 66.61.101.130 | 8-Sep-05/12:43 PM | Reply
I don't think undertow is the word you're looking for here...I don't think one could be under the undertow..maybe try something else..I don't know what, just something else....wake maybe...

Otherwise, not too bad.
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