Re: Jesus, you I see by amanda_dcosta	7-Dec-05/8:45 PM
I'm not real big on praise poems...I get why people do it..it's just not my cup of tea. Still, it's written pretty well. On a related note, I really think people should log in before they give you a zero...just common fucking courtesy if you ask me.
Re: Count All the Stars by TLRufener	7-Dec-05/9:01 PM
It's not good, it's not bad...it's just mediocre.
Re: Hope by sliver	7-Dec-05/9:03 PM
Definitely not your best, but I'm glad you're back.
Re: Relief (Ventilation Shaft rewrite) by cyan9	8-Dec-05/1:10 PM
Ok, I can dig this..It's pretty and has a lot of good imagery. I honestly don't know what the hell your talking about, but sometimes it doesn't matter.
Re: Emma Barksdale by rahson_s	8-Dec-05/1:20 PM
I'm curious if you are the one who wrote this or if it is from Utopia Wright's journals. Also, I'm curious as to your connection to him. The poem is good but the "definitely" in the next to last line bothers me..I'm not really sure why. Other than that, I wouldn't change a thing.
Re: no title by candaliesa	13-Dec-05/1:12 PM
Nothing I can say that hasn't already been said. This is a good starting point, now work on it and get better.
Re: Observer by Dovina	13-Dec-05/1:17 PM
I think putting it in the past tense would definitely add to it. Also, I'm not really digging the last stanza (mainly the last line). First two stanzas are a 9 but the last drops it tro a 7.
regarding some deleted poem...	13-Dec-05/1:22 PM
I'd agree that the "doth and" "thee" ned to go. Also the driven snow line is kind of cliche. other than that, not too bad.
regarding some deleted poem...	13-Dec-05/1:26 PM
A haiku-pimple..interesting...a Pimpku? Unfortunately I don't care much for haiku and I absolutely hate pimples..sorry
Re: Relics in Entropy by PsydewaysTears	13-Dec-05/1:44 PM
You could shorten this down, make it a little more cohesive and tight and have thre different poems.
regarding some deleted poem...	13-Dec-05/1:48 PM
I like the second one the best, I think but i'd lose the ellipses.
Re: I saw Your Face Last Night by Dovina	13-Dec-05/1:55 PM
To be honest, I didn't even realize this was you until I went back and looked to see who the writer was. I think you're selling yourself short here. I really thought this was done by one of our kiddieposters (albeit a more advanced one.)
Re: I Remember Thinking by BrandonW	13-Dec-05/2:12 PM
It's just that it's really just a letter to some chick..not really a poem.
Re: Miggy by Everyone	13-Dec-05/2:28 PM
Good lord, man, this must be a dastardly hoax perpetrated by The Man in an attempt to discredit Miggy as a serious poet and songwriter.
Re: You Have It Backwards by LilMsLadyPoet	13-Dec-05/4:31 PM
That's a super story and you make some good points. However, you've got a couple of plot holes here. 1) Why was your mother on welfare while getting her Masters? I don't presume to know your family's situation, but why didn't she get a job? 2) You first present the option that people create and invent out of necessity. Then, later, you state that people who "might die tomorrow" won't do that. Do we all not cower under the possibility that we might die tomorrow?
Re: Bri's Room (not done) by Sunshine Conkey	13-Dec-05/4:40 PM
Ok, it's a children's poem...I can get with that...until I saw that comment, I thought you were a retarded.
Re: You Have It Backwards by LilMsLadyPoet	13-Dec-05/4:41 PM
RE: I'm sorry, but when I see the words 'socialism and civic responsibility'...'institutions' that 'collectively' mandate you help a worthless neighbor, that you OWE something to anybody who has his hand out, that your sweat, labour, and reward should be used to raise 'the collective' of people needing your assistance...well...I stop listening. Responsible citizenship, to me, does not mean "responsible to and for the citizens". Exactly what do you think welfare is?
Re: Static by wilco	13-Dec-05/6:16 PM
I'd like to get suggestions on the 4th verse..I don't particularly like it as is.
Re: Blah Blah by Blindpoetry	15-Dec-05/11:06 AM
now thats creative. writer's block?
Re: The Cowardice of Francis Evans by Caducus	15-Dec-05/11:08 AM
cranium in the third stanza just doesn't sound right for me...