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Hope (Free verse) by sliver
In the midst of my sorrow, At the bottom of the vale, With the cold December falling I somehow stumbled on a trail. I am still convinced In just a few more frozen breaths Without that symbol in the snow, That night would have been my death. But somehow that ribbon Barely visible in the shifting snow Gave me everything I needed Just a little bit of hope. (It's been so long since I wrote anything I thought I'd better spit something out before I rust shut.)

Up the ladder: Johnny
Down the ladder: Yeah, Maybe

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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Arithmetic Mean: 5.5
Weighted score: 5.134471
Overall Rank: 5571
Posted: December 7, 2005 7:00 PM PST; Last modified: December 7, 2005 7:02 PM PST
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Comments:
[7] wilco @ 24.92.74.122 | 7-Dec-05/9:03 PM | Reply
Definitely not your best, but I'm glad you're back.
[7] cyan9 @ 217.40.63.105 | 8-Dec-05/6:51 AM | Reply
Nice + quaint pleasurable read, good image with the symbol in the snow. It lacked a bit in language and didnt do anything with rythm or flow but otherwise quite nice.
[7] ALChemy @ 24.74.101.159 | 9-Dec-05/7:55 AM | Reply
The first stanzas real nice but the others dwindle a bit.
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 81.151.150.39 | 10-Dec-05/3:17 PM | Reply
Needs a little less hope and a lot more sorrow. Just saying "In the midst of my sorrow" isn't enough to convince me -- when you stumble across hope, I end up thinking you don't deserve it.
[7] Dovina @ 69.175.32.104 | 10-Dec-05/3:27 PM | Reply
I've seen that ribbon of ski tracks in the snow and it's said that somebody else is lost too or just maybe somebody knows something I don't. The first verse says it's metaphoric, but the first verse is weak. I like the rest.
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