Help | About | Suggestions | Alms | Chat [0] | Users [0] | Log In | Join
 Search:
Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments   

freewrite~1-10-10/11am (Other) by shadowaura
yellow linoleum drip [drop] listen to time tick [tock] follow the lies halt [stop] underneath the floor of bellowing lies deceit runs amuk. and Count Chocula is hot. i hate UNO cards and yellow linoleum its all over tonight so paint me paint me paint me paint me bleak and fellowship sweet follow swallow tommorrow spelling mistake and vain outtakes vain vain vain vein blood leaks from your overrated arteries and Count Tiggyla hath returned leap to year leap year of sorts but chromosomes are dead i thought i was a dead fetus now its over start stop halt go wuss and puss in boots my cat is dead i have no cat though anyway the sun is empty and stairs too ugly the sun comes out and liquid lies follow empty this hand crack my broken hands children cry babies die and veins pop *POP* ahha chuckles chuck and giggles gig gig? i need this totem pole. Septuagint LXX latin fight of liquid lies and tattered thoughts tinkling teapots alone again i cling to dust nothing is and nothing was. -over

Down the ladder: the thrill to kill

You must be logged in to leave comments. Vote:

Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 00
.. 00
.. 40
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 10
.. 10

Arithmetic Mean: 5.5
Weighted score: 5.134471
Overall Rank: 5597
Posted: November 1, 2003 3:36 PM PST; Last modified: November 1, 2003 3:36 PM PST
View voting details
Comments:
[8] Jeremi B. Handrinos @ 24.126.116.54 | 1-Nov-03/6:45 PM | Reply
"-over" should be 'ever'.
[8] richa @ 81.86.224.139 | 2-Nov-03/5:30 AM | Reply
cool wordplay
[8] Shuushin @ 207.5.211.177 | 2-Nov-03/5:34 AM | Reply
a nice flow of conciousness with some interesting allusions (you don't see "Septuagint" everyday). Not sure if you intended to use the apt "liquid lies" twice though.

"over" works just fine, btw.
[8] tadpole @ 63.231.100.33 | 25-Nov-03/11:58 AM | Reply
pretty cool
178 view(s)




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001