| regarding some deleted poem... |
31-Jan-05/3:40 PM |
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Except for the nothing to look forward to line, this is kind of ok. Not really a lyric yet, but keep working on it.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
31-Jan-05/3:42 PM |
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I must admit it..I have no fucking clue what this is about.
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| Re: Baghdad Election by Mona Lisa |
31-Jan-05/3:43 PM |
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Anyone want to place bets on how long it will be before their new president gets blown up?
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| Re: My Heroes by MacFrantic |
31-Jan-05/5:47 PM |
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Not bad as a Triolet. I usually dislike using thee and lest but but it seems to work ok here.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
31-Jan-05/5:49 PM |
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THings must be pretty desperate when you're plagiarizing fucking Lil' John.
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| Re: Life by Stacy Stewart |
31-Jan-05/5:52 PM |
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Something about this I like. Not sure what it is.
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| Re: Dying Abroad by zodiac |
1-Feb-05/4:39 PM |
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I'm not going to be picky about changing a couple of words and not repeating theline exactly. It's really one of your best. I wish you'd spend a little more time writing and a little less time drying to be -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I., Jr., but it's ok.
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| Re: Ode to Brittanyy and her Dyke Jacket. by DreamerSupreme |
1-Feb-05/4:42 PM |
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I'm not going to vote on this because it's just plain fuckin' mean. All that aside, though, it's pretty good. hehe
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| Re: Life by AmberDawn |
1-Feb-05/4:54 PM |
Being as this is the second poem I've read today called "Life", I can't, just can't. First, you need to learn to proofread, or at least you spellcheck. Then, try writing about something else. All this positivity is a bad thing to be posting here. If you're going to be positive, at least mask it. ;)
On the plus side, you have a great chance of making it onto -=D_A=-'s Love/Above Liste. Congrats.
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| Re: A Thing I Must Do by Dovina |
2-Feb-05/3:00 PM |
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One of your best in a while.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
2-Feb-05/3:03 PM |
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I don't know how good of a song this would make, but it works as a poem too.
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| Re: Harry & the Little Bird by Goad |
2-Feb-05/3:05 PM |
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Perfidy, great word. I'm not really liking this too much but I'm going to give you an 8 just for that.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
2-Feb-05/3:09 PM |
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I'm sorry. i want to help but I just don't think anything's going to do this any good.
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| Re: No more goodbye by ShaNoN+960317485 |
2-Feb-05/3:10 PM |
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Need to fix your meter here and check your spelling.
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| Re: Save our Self(revised to be a trek into the vent tent) by Crakyamuni |
2-Feb-05/3:13 PM |
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I'm really not sure what's going on here...maybe you could add a little bit more to help paint at least a little bit better picture. I'm all about abstract, but you gotta give a little more I think.
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| Re: A love apple's just a tomato (edit of "Uprooting") by fevriere |
2-Feb-05/3:16 PM |
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Not bad. I thing the smart tart bit could be better, but I like the fruit/potatoes lines.
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| Re: spherical by Patsy |
3-Feb-05/3:47 PM |
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Simple and understated. Can work well a lot of the time.
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| Re: Ceylon Cries by Mona Lisa |
3-Feb-05/3:48 PM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
3-Feb-05/3:49 PM |
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I could critique this, but I wouldn't say anything that Goad hasn't already said. Better than your usual.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
3-Feb-05/3:51 PM |
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I'm guessing you used the so called "big words" because of the title and that they are there to drive the point home. Assuming this, I'll give you a 7. Some of the rhymes do seem very forced though.
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