Re: demiurge by crin	15-Sep-02/7:37 PM
This poem makes me wonder if you have ever been to Vegas or just watched what it is like to be there on some travel channel. If you have been there, well, then your observations are just weak. So is this poem.
Re: Morning Glory by waltfreakinwhitman	15-Sep-02/7:34 PM
Funny stuff, but really in the morning and only seven tugs. Sheesh, are you like the king of premature ejaculation?
Re: Full Fathom Five by vulcan	15-Sep-02/1:54 PM
Superior literature my ass. This is stuff they teach you in high school. Besides being rather a yawner in the grand tradition of Hardy the writing falls into the christof school of lacking Umph!!!
Re: a comment on Black Heart by brazen	15-Sep-02/1:47 PM
Seriously now, you sound like a complete goof making such statements, especially when your mere comment could use some serious editing. Or was that just an emotional spurt?
Re: pavement by faded	14-Sep-02/6:45 PM
Great band, bad poem.
Re: 9/11 by dougsoderstrom	13-Sep-02/11:30 AM
Dear Doug: since I am the house roach here and everybody else seems to have wandered back to their lives I will try to answer your questions. First off, I do not think many of the folks who have responded to your poem lacked an understanding of it. I know that on first read it was quite clear what you were saying, although I did not pinpoint it as Iraq but took it to mean our lovely "war on terrorism." As far as your comment to beaker, technically yes, a haiku is not restricted to the 5/7/5. It is basically an American translation of the haiku. So you are right there, but in almost all cases a haiku is under 17 syllables, which this is not, so he is correct in questioning the style. Also a haiku tends to focus on one image, although the creator of this site will argue that two contrasting images are necessary, which you have incorporated into the poem. Traditionally, using simplistic imagery is what brought about the haiku's depth, but in this case, you not only use burden-laden imagery, but border on cliche. The lovely (oh if you only look like the image I have in my head) God's Wife was making the case that the best artistic works, especially on areas relating to real events are usually best tackled by those who experienced it first hand. I realize we all experienced it first hand in some sort, although I was in bed, but the general philosophy in formalist literary circles is "write what you know, know what you right." As far as your comments to Limeness, I think she, like all of us were a bit amused by the tedious explanation of a poem most of us were well equipped intellectually to understand. It really is not deep or complex at all - simple imagery, simple metaphor, etc. And my comments regarding Christianity were not in reference to the poem, but to the comments. Just trying to keep it real and light. And last but not least, a good majority of the folks on this site are not American and thus were not affected as Americans. So that is always good to remember. 8>pk
Re: a comment on 9/11 by dougsoderstrom	13-Sep-02/10:38 AM
Two lovely fellows I might add.
Re: HELP by LIL ZAY	13-Sep-02/10:37 AM
Hey, who gave this a 0. I kind of like it, minus the caps, but maybe he is hard of hearing from the mortar fire.
Re: Mermaid at Dawn by <~>	13-Sep-02/10:34 AM
i revoted.
Re: a comment on Mermaid at Dawn by <~>	13-Sep-02/10:34 AM
Look Frass , I back everything up with my writing. You should try that. And you don't goad me, I am like this to everyone, although I must say on good days I suck up to GW, only because I cannot get that cupping out of my head. And I continue to give you insight into my behavior but you cease to adhere to it. If I am a roach to this site here is the explanation: Have you ever been a writer, made you living at it. Well Frass it is hard work, fucking hard work and when you sit in a chair for 15 hours a day because you have constant deadlines and the travel schedule is on hold until you finish what you started, well it gets lonely, minus my loving dogs, and the mail woman is tired of talking to me!!! So there, it beats staring out the window. Are you really that much of a nimcompoop?
Re: 9/11 by dougsoderstrom	13-Sep-02/9:16 AM
Who's God? Because I kind of look like my Mom and Pops. well hopefully more my mom but as I get older I see my dad, ugh. He was ugly, you know. So are they god? Well my daughters look a bit like me, although my fist one is probably a mutt considering my ex slept with, well she probably even slept with you doug. So, am I god? Wow. You know them CHRISTians are pretty wacky themselves.
Re: a comment on 9/11 by dougsoderstrom	13-Sep-02/9:10 AM
Hey GW 9/11 is going in the new edition of Webster's. Therefore, it does have a too legit to quit name. And those of you looking for an esoteric, heady, or just downright unsensationalized "oh-my-god-did-you-see- the-ABC-glass-trade-towers-as-an-11" look/tribute of the event check out "9/11: Nine Views" running on the Sundance Channel. It is interesting and at times quite poignant. It also shows that expression of the event can be effective without trite sentiment.
Re: Mermaid at Dawn by <~>	13-Sep-02/8:44 AM
Why the .... Sexy and I like the last line.
Re: We visited the gay men on the veranda by Frass	13-Sep-02/8:36 AM
Funny or goofy? Hmmm. that is a tough one. Any way biker Frass, lol, 52 weeks a year. Did you visit the girls specifically or did you just happen to be on the veranda and visit "with" them. The nervous laughter and looks makes me think this is spontaneous which throws the title out of context and bothers me. Plus, it sounds just trite. Is this like the first time you have ever encountered anybody outside of your shell. I bet you just love seeing boys in lycra, muscles bulging, sweat pouring, pounding Gary Fisher pedals 52 weeks a year. ummm. Yummy. When I cum out to VA will you be my bitch?
Re: a comment on Lysander cried by bornagainpoet	12-Sep-02/9:04 PM
Ahhh. Forgot about Shakespeare. I was banking on the tough guy scenario.
Re: Lysander cried by bornagainpoet	12-Sep-02/8:58 PM
Are you equating yourself with a tough guy Spartan?
Re: deluge by kawakurdi	12-Sep-02/8:39 PM
Like the beginning, especially the first line and dig the ending, but let out a big yawn in the middle. Maybe it is the adjectives you incorporate in your poetry that bother me, but then again maybe I just do not understand this type of poetry because of the culture I live in.
Re: fairy tale by jlanza	12-Sep-02/8:34 PM
Why the one comma? You didn't bother to use punctuation anywhere else. And the last line is clumsy with the typo. Might want to get that.
Re: a comment on Mermaid at Dawn by <~>	12-Sep-02/7:36 PM
You should feel nothing but honored writer of triangle poems. Now if the kid could only remember one of Frass' lousy poems.
Re: a comment on Anfal: Our 9/11 happened many times over by kawakurdi	12-Sep-02/4:50 PM
I am not taking it personally; I am just an ugly American child, who hates the other ugly children regardless. I can take nothing to heart because I have none.