poemranker ::Mermaid at Dawn by <~>

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Free verse № 14341

Mermaid at Dawn

by <~>

Member since 2002 · Posted 11 Sep 2002 · Edited 13 Sep 2002 · 31 comments

After 3, in the middle of the night I gave myself away You saw through my skin Your out to my in, swimming so hard against this softness. We were awake beyond sensation, but dumb to anything but the hum within. We made our reciprocal dive, wetted down and so well suited. Quivering, I recall those moments of focused clarity, synchronized like breathing exercises fueling our endurance. I saw the instant of unity slip when, entwining beyond limbs, or minds, we claimed the sunken treasure cried out as one and exhausted released each other, came up for air. Before 7, An aching in my eyes-- am I a fool or did we embrace some elusive truth in the hour before the first bird broke the night with a song for himself?

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31 comments

[6] royalflesh 11-Sep-02/8:11 PM Reply
tantilizing tid-bit. Horror-ishly visibly embeded in my mind. Horror and sex. Wet and sweat. Trick or treat. Gread.
[7] Frass 11-Sep-02/9:12 PM Reply
You do the blue poetry so well. Make every word count; you're so close.
[n/a] <~> › Frass 11-Sep-02/9:19 PM Reply
where do I miss, frass?
[9] poetandknowit 11-Sep-02/9:49 PM Reply
3am is the loneliest hour to shower.
[n/a] <~> › poetandknowit 11-Sep-02/9:52 PM Reply
why shower at 3? you might wake up in a few and want to get dirtier first.
[9] poetandknowit 11-Sep-02/9:53 PM Reply
The definitely gets the Cupping GW award for the night. She is off with Clement, so I guess I am stuck with you. I actually have a friend going through a similar thing as you....
[n/a] <~> › poetandknowit 11-Sep-02/9:54 PM Reply
which thing would that be, p&k?
[7] Frass › <~> 11-Sep-02/10:01 PM Reply
Come on, Zzin, call him PAKI like the rest of us do. As to your question, I just think it could be a little shorter and tighter; will get back to a quality edit; but, now it's 12:53am in the Commonwealth of Virginia and I must retire.
[9] poetandknowit › Frass 11-Sep-02/10:03 PM Reply
Good-night Frass. Don't be mad. Your pal, PAKI
[n/a] <~> › Frass 11-Sep-02/10:04 PM Reply
i don't like PAKI. it's too harsh on the tongue. i like p&k, and so shall he stay. p.s.--it's the same time in CT. sweet zzz's.
[6] royalflesh › <~> 11-Sep-02/10:20 PM Reply
still swarming, slithly, thoroughly through the wretched compartments of yesterday's affairs. Would be greatly admired, your voice must ache of love as does mine. Interwine? Or just dine?
[n/a] <~> › royalflesh 11-Sep-02/10:22 PM Reply
'twas brilling, that last. wine? dine? entwine? supine? brine? blind. toves will gyre and gimbol in the wabe. i warn thee, even as i warm thee.
[7] Frass › <~> 12-Sep-02/7:27 PM Reply
What do you know, Zzin, I don't like PAKI, either. 'Twas brillig...' My son can recite that entire poem by heart, scary. And...I'm not mad at you, PAKI; your very common brand of empty vitriol simply doesn't rate or raise a rankle with me, and thus, is beneath my contempt.
[9] poetandknowit › Frass 12-Sep-02/7:36 PM Reply
You should feel nothing but honored writer of triangle poems. Now if the kid could only remember one of Frass' lousy poems.
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. › Frass 12-Sep-02/8:56 PM Reply
The more someone desperately tries to sound "aloof" and "witty", the more they clearly do care. And you, Frass, are sounding suspiciously "aloof" and "witty". I hope I never turn into the sort of person who uses phrases like "your very common brand of empty vitriol simply doesn't rate or raise a rankle with me". You know it's BS, I know it's BS, and poetandknowit knows it's BS. Why not save everyone the trouble and just admit that he pisses you off?
[n/a] <~> › <~> 12-Sep-02/8:17 PM Reply
Clarification: i very much like poetandknowit. he is an egotistical arse at times; but i believe that he does it to grate, and so it makes me chuckle instead (most of the time). i just like the way 'p&k' looks better than the all caps version. he's like the jabberwoc, and i'm outgrabe.
[9] poetandknowit 13-Sep-02/8:44 AM Reply
Why the ....
Sexy and I like the last line.
[n/a] <~> › poetandknowit 13-Sep-02/9:26 AM Reply
thanks, p&k. you're right. ...'s gone now. z
[7] Frass › <~> 13-Sep-02/10:22 AM Reply
How deliciously satisfying; two of the skankier site roaches yammering at me at once from their shat smeared lairs. I draw ya'll out with my intentionally foppish pedantics so that I can put the heel to you once more. A few of you--Dunkeles Engel, PAKI, Dylm, H8, etc., ad nauseum--have made a choice to emit your bilgewater in an attempt to swamp the vast majority of us who choose to enjoy this very fine site. I choose to goad ya'll like a picador every chance I get; doesn't mean I hate ya'll, just means I enjoy delivering the jabs you so richly deserve.
[9] poetandknowit › Frass 13-Sep-02/10:34 AM Reply
Look Frass , I back everything up with my writing. You should try that. And you don't goad me, I am like this to everyone, although I must say on good days I suck up to GW, only because I cannot get that cupping out of my head. And I continue to give you insight into my behavior but you cease to adhere to it. If I am a roach to this site here is the explanation: Have you ever been a writer, made you living at it. Well Frass it is hard work, fucking hard work and when you sit in a chair for 15 hours a day because you have constant deadlines and the travel schedule is on hold until you finish what you started, well it gets lonely, minus my loving dogs, and the mail woman is tired of talking to me!!! So there, it beats staring out the window. Are you really that much of a nimcompoop?
[9] poetandknowit 13-Sep-02/10:34 AM Reply
i revoted.
[n/a] <~> › poetandknowit 13-Sep-02/12:02 PM Reply
you the MAN. (uh, make that the 'gay man'...)
[7] Frass › <~> 13-Sep-02/1:12 PM Reply
PAKI, it's because I recognize you as having quite a bit more on the ball/education/etc. than the other site roaches that I kick you the hardest. As I've stated previously, I like your poetry, just not your comments to other poets. And, thanks Z, but I'm not feeling gay, your hetero/erotic writing excellence, as exemplified above, would give Richard Simmons a woody.
[n/a] ==Doylum › Frass 13-Sep-02/1:15 PM Reply
HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa fuck, shit fucfbfd HaHaHaHaHaHaHa
HaHaHaHaHaHaHa jesus man your fucking funny, thats the funniest comment I've ever read. Steaming Pile you are a master kumpppft
[n/a] <~> › ==Doylum 13-Sep-02/1:21 PM Reply
WHERE'S MY BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, DAMMIT!
[n/a] ==Doylum › <~> 13-Sep-02/1:29 PM Reply
You can't rush these thing princess. Give it time
[n/a] <~> › Frass 13-Sep-02/1:20 PM Reply
yeah, but he'd still limp it in a man...
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. › Frass 13-Sep-02/3:04 PM Reply
Frass...oh, Frass. The harder you gallop up the stairs of erudition, the more easily the peasants can see you sweat.
[9] horus8 13-Sep-02/1:44 PM Reply
omnia mutantur nos et mutamur in illis.c
[n/a] <~> › horus8 13-Sep-02/1:54 PM Reply
wouldn't have it any other way, h.
[n/a] pete 13-Sep-02/2:36 PM Reply
aah , a real poem ... such a relief ... at the end is the questioning form and use of 'elusive ' tautological .... i like the bird ... self contained vs the twosome .... breathing exercises captures it too .... 8