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fairy tale (Free verse) by jlanza Fairy tale whimsical
Dance on the breeze
Palace sparkles
Across the seas
Dance for me now
With elegance great
Show me the path
Of mythical fate
Wind blow through
The glitter and gold
Close my eyes
As the dream unfolds
Play me your music
Invisible grace
Come to me adorers
With satin and lace
Whimsical, whimsical
Fading away
Touch me again
In your fairy tale gay
Up the ladder:
Tijuana jail song
Down the ladder:
The queen of heat
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 5.2
Posted: September 12, 2002 6:06 PM PDT; Last modified: September 13, 2002 7:32 AM PDTWeighted score: 5.1 Overall Rank: 6059 Comments:
[3]
poetandknowit @ 65.101.212.179
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12-Sep-02/8:34 PM
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Reply
Why the one comma? You didn't bother to use punctuation anywhere else. And the last line is clumsy with the typo. Might want to get that.
touch me! Your getting hot! and making me sweat. ever read the magician's heart. its hard to find.
It could use a little work, the idea is nice, but the structer could use some work. 7/10 =)
poetry by numbers .... should in be with in last line ? or are you in someone elses story
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