Poemranker [Poem: Lysander cried] [by bornagainpoet] Thu Nov 21 12:04:03 PST 2024

When I was a boy I studied hard tried to please my parents. I grew up became a college student I studied hard to please my parents. I grew up some more became a worker worked hard to please my parents. Became a boss, did well,to please my parents. I grew up some more, my parents died, Lysander cried.

[5] nentwined @ 192.168.0.69 | 11-Sep-02/10:13 AM | Reply

it's cute. If Lysander is someone I'm expected to know, I don't get it. If Lysander is you, my personal opinion is to keep personal names out of things. I can't really empathise with it when I'm being jolted out like that.

Also, the scan/rhythm/flow/whatnot could use a little work; maybe just fixing the grammar or making a proper nod to it would do it.

[2] poetandknowit @ 65.101.212.179 | 12-Sep-02/8:58 PM | Reply

Are you equating yourself with a tough guy Spartan?

[3] <~> @ 24.44.185.41 | 12-Sep-02/9:01 PM | Reply

or with L. from midsummernight's dream? or with the judge?

[2] poetandknowit @ 65.101.212.179 > <~> | 12-Sep-02/9:04 PM | Reply

Ahhh. Forgot about Shakespeare. I was banking on the tough guy scenario.

[4] bondjedi @ 12.228.115.70 | 20-Sep-02/11:53 PM | Reply

I doubt your parents are pleased. 2 thumbs down

[7] INTRANSIT @ 205.188.209.107 | 22-Sep-02/6:57 PM | Reply

I like simplicity, could be modified to rhyme without losing it's intent. Good stuff!

[8] jsab78 @ 205.188.209.107 | 3-Jan-03/8:55 PM | Reply

true

[8] -=SeTTle=- @ 140.186.49.230 | 4-Jan-03/10:38 PM | Reply

I laughed. This is supposed to be funny? It is. I can tell you that this is very, very funny. More than you may be able to imagine. Work on it.