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Lysander cried

Member since 2002 · Posted 10 Sep 2002 · 8 comments

When I was a boy I studied hard tried to please my parents. I grew up became a college student I studied hard to please my parents. I grew up some more became a worker worked hard to please my parents. Became a boss, did well,to please my parents. I grew up some more, my parents died, Lysander cried.

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15 votes so far. Yours would make 16.15 votes so far

8 comments

[5] nentwined 11-Sep-02/10:13 AM Reply

it's cute. If Lysander is someone I'm expected to know, I don't get it. If Lysander is you, my personal opinion is to keep personal names out of things. I can't really empathise with it when I'm being jolted out like that.

Also, the scan/rhythm/flow/whatnot could use a little work; maybe just fixing the grammar or making a proper nod to it would do it.

[2] poetandknowit 12-Sep-02/8:58 PM Reply

Are you equating yourself with a tough guy Spartan?

[3] <~> 12-Sep-02/9:01 PM Reply

or with L. from midsummernight's dream? or with the judge?

[2] poetandknowit › <~> 12-Sep-02/9:04 PM Reply

Ahhh. Forgot about Shakespeare. I was banking on the tough guy scenario.

[4] bondjedi 20-Sep-02/11:53 PM Reply

I doubt your parents are pleased. 2 thumbs down

[7] INTRANSIT 22-Sep-02/6:57 PM Reply

I like simplicity, could be modified to rhyme without losing it's intent. Good stuff!

[8] jsab78 3-Jan-03/8:55 PM Reply

true

[8] -=SeTTle=- 4-Jan-03/10:38 PM Reply

I laughed. This is supposed to be funny? It is. I can tell you that this is very, very funny. More than you may be able to imagine. Work on it.