Re: Reincarnation by Dovina	17-Apr-05/6:00 AM
Not to be irrelevant, but I've always wondered what's the point of reincarnating if you don't remember your past lives. Do you think some people do? If not, how do you think a past self affects somebody's present self? If it doesn't (or doesn't much), isn't it pretty much the same thing as not being reincarnated?
regarding some deleted poem...	17-Apr-05/6:05 AM
Drop the line at the end if you want this to even start being considered as a real poem. Also, write about a real situation. I know you think you are, but you're not. Make your hero/narrator/whatever walking somewhere, doing something, having a realistic conversation - something to tie things together and be more than just whatever goth cliches popped into your head as you were writing. So you've got a dinner party in there somewhere; use that. Start with a person cleaning stains out of the carpet. Really. Start with the line, "She/he scrubbed stains in the carpet" and go from there. Drop 90% of the lines in this poem that aren't about getting ready for dinner parties. I'm absolutely serious. Even Eliot made his rambling egos WALKING somewhere.
regarding some deleted poem...	17-Apr-05/6:07 AM
"rotates a swirl", what? Do you really mean something like "swirls a swirl" or "spins a spin"? Seems like a waste of precious haikullables to me.
Re: 15 Minute poem by Damien	18-Apr-05/10:37 PM
Just think how much better this poem would have been if you'd spent 30 minutes on it instead of 15. What were you so busy doing that you couldn't spend another fifteen minutes and made it twice as good? I'll bet you were whacking off to either the blonde daughter or the gothish daughter, or both, on Rosanne.
Re: f*ckyouoldmenandyourrules by Damien_	18-Apr-05/10:43 PM
Congratulations, this is the man you just called a brainiac: http://rockmage.com/biography.jsp Get bored and leave soon.
Re: Stop by [mojo]	22-Apr-05/5:14 AM
Maybe you should post it on your own personal website closed off to other people instead of posting it on a public poetry-reading website, huh?
Re: Country Song by Caducus	22-Apr-05/1:31 PM
Aren't you, like, Welsh? This isn't really a country song. Real country music these days is filled with boasts about the singer's anti-intellectualism. Here's one I just heard (in an Old Town Amman shawerma stand, no less!): http://ww2.lafayette.edu/~shuppr/lamusic/pina.htm
Re: Ode to Billy Mac by windyone	22-Apr-05/1:34 PM
There's nothing really wrong with this poem except that it should be properly punctuated and doesn't really have anything distinguishing it. Original or striking poems about friends are hard to write. And there are far too many friend-poems on poemranker. If you're bent on doing it, though, here's an interesting place to start: http://www.slate.com/id/2092680 Or here: http://www.slate.com/id/3416, http://www.slate.com/id/33215, http://www.slate.com/id/2089046
Re: Antique by Billy Fights	22-Apr-05/1:35 PM
"breathe" should be "breath".
regarding some deleted poem...	22-Apr-05/1:36 PM
Sick-making.
Re: The South Side of Racine, 1988 by jessicazee	22-Apr-05/1:38 PM
I disagree with Dovina.
Re: A love apple's just a tomato (edit of "Uprooting") by fevriere	22-Apr-05/1:40 PM
Drop "and" from the last line.
Re: Couplet by fevriere	22-Apr-05/1:41 PM
The commas around soon are unnecessary. Is it really more wasted time than other ways of passing time? That's The Eagles' philosophy, and look where it got them.
Re: Self Conscious by Damien	25-Apr-05/11:19 PM
No one is saying your assumptions aren't new. They're about as new as making up a language with only vowels or wearing a slightly-altered hat for trousers. Why didn't you just say "true" instead?
Re: Panama by Dovina	27-Apr-05/6:20 AM
This is good, really. But something I just noticed is that all the sentences you write have essentially the same structure. At least, if they don't have the same structure, they sound really similar. Yes, I know here (and in another of your recent ones I just read) you're doing it on purpose. But it doesn't seem to work for me, not the intentional repetition (unaware/aware) nor the unintentional (strings of noun phrases and compound predicates with nary a subject in sight.) Still, this is good.
Re: I killed you in New Mexico by sunset sky	27-Apr-05/6:26 AM
You should make the hyphenation consistent. What about "worry-stricken" and "lightning-eyed"?
Re: I do... Not! by Billy Fights	27-Apr-05/6:27 AM
Hey, great title!
regarding some deleted poem...	27-Apr-05/6:38 AM
You should try about a gallon of Ny-quil.
regarding some deleted poem...	27-Apr-05/6:52 AM
Please, for the love of God, stop using the word meta in your poems.
Re: Ode To The Fly In My Beer by ChaseValentine	27-Apr-05/6:52 AM
bossa nova is in Portuguese, not Spanish.