Re: On waiting to pick up my daughter on Tuesday by poetandknowit	15-Sep-02/10:14 PM
she sounds cute can i take her out on a date? (spwan of god'swife)
Re: Faucet's got a nasty drip. FUCK! Not again! by <{Baba^Yaga}>	15-Sep-02/9:52 PM
this is god's wifes son (god's son) gods and gods wife's little devil chid
Re: Morning Conversation by lexicon	15-Sep-02/9:03 PM
Not bad not bad. More space-age living. I'd would have liked a metaphor or two, but that's just me. I wait for them the way a child waits or candy.
Re: a comment on Faucet's got a nasty drip. FUCK! Not again! by <{Baba^Yaga}>	15-Sep-02/8:28 PM
Doxycycline 500mg QID X 10 days. Condoms. VDRL, & UA for chlamydia. Syphillis & gonorrhea are epidemic in L.A. county. (I hope you're joking)
Re: Faucet's got a nasty drip. FUCK! Not again! by <{Baba^Yaga}>	15-Sep-02/7:58 PM
Not up to your high standards.
Re: On waiting to pick up my daughter on Tuesday by poetandknowit	15-Sep-02/1:21 PM
Shouldn't there be a comma after <same>? Also <that> seems unnecessary.
Re: bitterness to tenderness to endlessness by Crakyamuni	15-Sep-02/1:15 PM
No joy to read. Improves slighty as you go, but no go. Dogs in deep trances? What dinner show is that?
Re: No sally, lay your troubles to bed by Crakyamuni	15-Sep-02/1:10 PM
Oh worshipper of the sacred Budda, go back to the creamery. What this is is what it was and shall forever be, caca.
Re: You Win by ritz1605	15-Sep-02/1:02 PM
Lot's of typos and grammatical errors. But correcting this won't help. I say shoot it and put it out of it's misery.
Re: Mantis by renwick	15-Sep-02/12:55 PM
You're beginning analogy is anything but poetic. May I suggest a Brazilian wax to rid her of those pokey sharps and splinters. Stupid. By the way this "thing" you've posted makes it glaringly obvious you are a terrible lay. 1.... which is more than those poor 48 would rank you in bed.
Re: Dry tears by bdub420	15-Sep-02/12:46 PM
Cryptic. Send free decoder ring please.
Re: How? Well... by RWAndersen	15-Sep-02/12:42 PM
Choppy. Polish won't add to her shine? Dreadful analogy to lay on a person.
Re: Fuck the stars by Patrice727	15-Sep-02/12:37 PM
Satellite.
Re: winter every day (Don't bother reading this) by unknown	13-Sep-02/4:59 PM
Could be a real gem if you polished it. The last stanza i think is the best and could stay as is. Can you describe the smell of her pillow?
Re: Remember-me (an ode to those dropped off at the clinic) by Bachus	13-Sep-02/4:47 PM
Oh my dear sweet brother how i've missed you. Of all the God's you are my favorite. You don't pretend. I'm off for the weekend. Hope to see you soon.
Re: a comment on 9/11 by dougsoderstrom	13-Sep-02/9:16 AM
I'm not surprised. Thank's for the suggestion. Expression of the event would be more poignant without trite sentiment.
Re: 9/11 by dougsoderstrom	13-Sep-02/9:02 AM
This is awful with or without the explanation. Try expanding the actual so called poem. Also the first image has been so over-used it 's best to avoid it. We allready know what you're talking about since you were foolish enought to title this thing 9/11. Aren't you sick of it yet 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11. It doesn't even have a proper name.
Re: Our New Tongue by Christof	13-Sep-02/8:42 AM
Excellent. Hadn't read this before. "Oaths of faith and love" Please work on writing a new contract for all the girls and boys. I love stanza 4, awkward and sad without being awkward and sad. Is she married?
Re: America the Beautiful? by pink_punk_kisses87	12-Sep-02/9:49 PM
You know, if you're going to get way up there on your giant soap box you should at least make it pretty. This is not a poem It's a very bad nagging session. "Is this what makes us proud?" "Is this what our ancestors...." You sound like a crotchety old man. An impact can never be made by standing and wagging your finger.
Re: We visited the gay men on the veranda by Frass	12-Sep-02/9:34 PM
This is worth writing about. It needs some fixing up but I like it. I give you some suggestions but I'm having a tantrum right now so I'll get back to it in a few days.