DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

Morning Conversation

Member since 2002 · Posted 10 Sep 2002 · Edited 10 Sep 2002 · 7 comments

Alarm rings and she awakes, rolling over. "Five more minutes?" she asks to nobody. Slipping out of bed and trudging to the bathroom... The faucet handle squeaks and the water splashes. Hot coffee aroma greets her as she enters the kitchen. She says a silent thank you to automatic timers. Coffee cup clinks against the saucer as eggs sizzle in the pan... She snaps open the paper, eating quickly as fork scrapes plate then hurries out, the door slamming shut on her morning conversation of one

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mean 6.46 weighted 6.07 rank 1176 views 164 View voting details →

13 votes so far. Yours would make 14.13 votes so far

7 comments

[7] god'swife 15-Sep-02/9:03 PM Reply

Not bad not bad. More space-age living. I'd would have liked a metaphor or two, but that's just me. I wait for them the way a child waits or candy.

[n/a] lexicon › god'swife 16-Sep-02/6:00 PM Reply

hi, and thanks for the note. I purposefully left metaphor - or any poetic devices out. I just wanted to convey the plain ordinary life of a lonely woman and felt simple language would echo her simple life.

[7] god'swife › lexicon 16-Sep-02/6:11 PM Reply

As I said it's just a predilection of mine.

[8] horus8 20-Dec-02/4:27 PM Reply

that's a nice one.

[7] -=SeTTle=- 4-Jan-03/10:41 PM Reply

...and?? This could be a lot more. Why is it interesting? Because it seems interesting. Find out why and rewrite it.

[8] debased 10-Jan-03/6:53 PM Reply

i like it 8

[8] Jill Stockinger 27-Dec-20/4:50 PM Reply

Smoother: she wakes; she asks nobody;-
this is cute! I like the last line.