replying on Equality by sarah
26 Apr 2004, 7:33 PM
eh - not bad for a first try.
on Bottom half of a phone by That One
26 Apr 2004, 7:14 PM
you are = you're
replying on The True Irony by thepinkbunnyofdoom
26 Apr 2004, 1:00 PM
Tool rocks.
on The True Irony by thepinkbunnyofdoom
26 Apr 2004, 12:58 PM
I just couldn't get my arms around this one. Maybe some line breaks, maybe some compartmentalization - dunno.
on Now I'm with you by Roisin
26 Apr 2004, 12:53 PM
A nice sentiment, and perhaps strongly felt - but too easy.
replying on Remembering Pretty Days by wilco
25 Apr 2004, 1:29 PM
I was imitating Kirk. James Tiberius.
replying on Remembering Pretty Days by wilco
25 Apr 2004, 11:01 AM
Spock. Your eyes. Make me want.
To kiss you.
To kiss you.
on To Be Happy by embersandenvelopes
25 Apr 2004, 10:51 AM
I liked polar-fickle-phases, and liked trying to figure out what it means.
on Remembering Pretty Days by wilco
25 Apr 2004, 10:49 AM
- shouldn't
- didn't (apostrophe generally goes with the missing letter)
- nonetheless is usually one word.
Well done, but I'd consider loosing that second stanza, or to at least get more out of it. Nine.
- didn't (apostrophe generally goes with the missing letter)
- nonetheless is usually one word.
Well done, but I'd consider loosing that second stanza, or to at least get more out of it. Nine.
on Exclamatory Abuse by Blindpoetry
25 Apr 2004, 10:43 AM
unusual texture, conveys well.
on evolution 9 by wilco
25 Apr 2004, 10:32 AM
looky, its a arrowhead.
What is this creature, and how did its description merit a ten from daveslady? Are you, by any chance, Dave?
I can give it a nine I guess, cuz well if its good enough for her...
What is this creature, and how did its description merit a ten from daveslady? Are you, by any chance, Dave?
I can give it a nine I guess, cuz well if its good enough for her...
replying on The How To on Haikus by <Wankster>
25 Apr 2004, 10:27 AM
Don't get me wrong, I think its perfectly fine to have a haiku with 8 or whatever syllable counts.
Generally its a short/long/short kinda thing, and most folks bristle at anything other than 5 7 5, possibly accepting 3 5 3.
Generally its a short/long/short kinda thing, and most folks bristle at anything other than 5 7 5, possibly accepting 3 5 3.
on Exclamatory Abuse by Blindpoetry
24 Apr 2004, 6:52 PM
"to[o] cold" quick - fix and repost.
replying on She Searches For Love by validus_vox
24 Apr 2004, 3:42 PM
Sure, give it a shot. (you don't have to count, but you get the idea)
Make it so you have to pick and choose the "right" word, the most appropriate image. You should find yourself questioning yourself when you write down little words like a preposition, or an article.(btw, that was just an example - did I need the word "down"?)
Make it so you have to pick and choose the "right" word, the most appropriate image. You should find yourself questioning yourself when you write down little words like a preposition, or an article.(btw, that was just an example - did I need the word "down"?)
on Merry-Go-Round by Miggy
24 Apr 2004, 3:33 PM
Right off I don't like "passes by" - is there some other way to let me know you like being around this person?
Some way to express that frustration when they bail so I can feel it instead of acknowledging it?
Maybe it being a lyric gets you off the hook from being poetic? I hope not.
Some way to express that frustration when they bail so I can feel it instead of acknowledging it?
Maybe it being a lyric gets you off the hook from being poetic? I hope not.
on She Searches For Love by validus_vox
24 Apr 2004, 3:28 PM
Hey Mike - Give this a shot as a poem. I don't mean that in a sarcastic way.
Allow yourself half the lines, and a third the words.
Allow yourself half the lines, and a third the words.